mylanaife

2006-10-10T23:48:00.001+08:00

THERE,

here

i'm tired i'm sick.
hoooooho.

2006-10-06T19:11:00.001+08:00

Instant noodles are yum.

FRIDAY

Watched Rob B Hoood! I haven't watched a chinese movie in a theatre for such a long time.
Apparently I was supposed to go for dance lah, but cause Mira said that I wasn't supposed to go at first so I agreed to go out with zhiqing to go watch movie with her since she wanted to and I havent really gone out with her for movies before :D

Met Aiwei on the way out of the library (cause we were checking movie times) and Aiwei told me that I wasnt dancing, confirm. I was like phew!. Then I recieved Mira's sms and I was like shucks uhoh. So I told Mira that I was sorry that I couldnt make it cause I had things prearranged since she told me I wasnt involved in the Kevin Koh dance anymore. I mean its a good thing lah, cause my presence would cause a lot of entropy - bottie/eeleng/aiwei is probably a better choice. I suck at dancing lah I don't even know why I'm in dance. HOHO I suppose its cause there ain't any other cca that I can perform for so dance is like the only one? Then I realised that I don't really like performing as in dancing performing - I prefer the string type of performance that you pia for :D and practise veryvery hard.

Yeah I'm looking forward to watching the Kevin Koh performance lah, I mean all the pros are in it (like adabellllllllle and the nanos and a lot of people with ballet bg like jo & mira?) yeah I guess it would be quite a spectacular sight =D Although I was quite sad that some unpro people are inside too cause I mean, it spoils things lah but I guess they would be able to pull it off anyway, somehow.

Well anw, we had ben and jerry's after that! :D We shared a sundae! Its more worth it then the two single scoops separate! Then train ride back with stephanie. haha we don't really talk lah its weird but the angmoh kid was really cuuuuuuute! Her sunburnt cheeks were totally pink.

oh yeah. I may go for Fen's concert tomorrow, ALONE LAH. haha cause tdy tiff didnt bring her ticket, so I gave her mine since I won't want to go today anw.
HAI.
HECTIC HATURDAY.

check this out:
8.30-10: music. ==> 9-12 cheer
10-11.30:chem
1.15-3.45 tll
5-7 :carecorner
8-10? Fen's concert.

wahhhh. tell me how am I gna survive through tmr.
come on I NEEED A TWINNNNNN. A CLONEEEEEEE. CLONE ME, PLEASE.

2006-10-02T23:20:00.000+08:00

THIS IS KILLING MEEEEEE.HELP.

(no and its not about homework, just in case anyone whose clever enough to think that it will be)

RESTRICT RESTRICT RESTRICT DISCIPLINE WATCH SNIFF AND DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE.

COMEON EUNICE YOUVE DONE IT ONCE.

2006-09-30T00:48:00.000+08:00

Because I'm sick and tired of :

trying to argue my way out about why I have to change timeslots with other students.
calling her at 11pm to get scolded only because I called last minute to change.
getting nagged at by mrs wee for missing 329573103803 classes.
having to cab down/be late for a lot of things.
feeling so guilty to have caused so much trouble when I could have just adopted a less troublesome way.
having the feeling that if I had gone for that something else instead, my time would be more well spent (on some days actually).
having to change my Carecorner for the 1000th time.
you?everything?

Its bad attitude, but try living my life for one week with all the last minute decisions (trust me, you would probably waste a few dollars on bills because of that and emotional guilt) and you would understand why I'm sick and tired of all these things to a point that I will not ever ever make anymore changes to my routine life should all these weird things pop up < a day in advance.
And now I'm trying to make myself feel less guilty about the otherside.

KEEP YOUR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF WHETHER OR NOT YOU UNDERSTAND THE ABOVE. IN OTHER WORDS, JUST SHUT UP.

2006-09-27T21:52:00.000+08:00

Nowadays I just seem to get so carried away with somethings like overdue homework to care about anything else - people around me, me dog my dad and mom and jies.

But I guess today that. Burnt out talk to me was rather..amusing I mean. I honestly am quite busy because of the various school work I'm having nowadays, esp. music compo which I've only completed one and doing another soon (FINAL ONE) I've a feeling I'm going to screw that up anyway, probably worse than my choral piece. That's besides the point. I mean, I don't think its such a big problem though, the homework load and stuff. Maybe its because I do not take physics (5-year/honors track) I mean I don't intend to take physics altogether. But anyway, I guess everyone's specialising modules have a great amount of homework still, and its really up to you whether you choose to take 3 hours to do it or 30 minutes.

I do things slowly so I have to sacrifice other modules for the things that I enjoy doing. I guess unless youre really brilliant and bright, if not its rather impossible for you to get high scores for every single module in this school. So I do not really understand why these people have so much to complain about. They have time to do their work, probably more than I do - I have piano lessons, calligraphy, learning lab, jiang, newly joined cello lessons. Oh and not to mention, music instruments require a lot of practice to be able to excel in it. Which is why I certainly do not, but I guess I still have to spend some time. Plus, I have cheer on three days per week - till 8pm. So I do not really understand whats the big deal when they get to go home at 6 and have like virtually nothing to do? I mean of course recreational time is important as well, but look I can have time to watch tv and blog, (HAHA AT THE EXPANSE OF MY HOMEWORK) but either way. I guess if you can reach a balance between like me and some.. dilligent people like Florence it would be good.

I can't say the people in our school are perfectionists, but I guess to some extent they are probably. I mean. They probably spend a lot time revising la huh so they do not have time to do their homework. Whereas for me I guess I learn when I do homework? Aiyah its. yi ju liang de but I guess its rather bad also lah cause I end up not doing some questions and having to trouble others.

But oh wells. its for the lazy.

EDIT:
Well I guess today was just a bad day for cheer (for me at least) I mean. I feel so unmotivated and tired. I guess it was because I didn't sleep much the day before cause I wanted to write laoshi's overdue zuowens but ended up killing a tree so. Eitherway. It's like I'm feeling more and more useless during cheer (which I guess I am) cause I don't seem to perfect anything. My cartwheel is as unpredictable as ever I JUST CANNOT CORRECT MY FRIGGIN HANDS. I guess its rather annoying being stuck at one stage forever. I mean. Then xiayaos and splits. Splits are just useless and besides mine are getting worse - it doesn't even open to a..160 angle nowadays. I guess. No 150. Sucks la anyway. I guess my ankle is partially at fault. Oh fell on tue while reading Animal Hospital. It was actually okay already, then I had dance and cheer which aggravated the friggin situation so now its being wrapped up in bandages by the sinseh. Xiayaos are bad mine are really lousy its like. Not at all near. TOO FAR TOO FAR. Please grant me a flexible back for X'mas. Which is probably why I can't do my front/back walks either.

Life's a bitch.

Yeah so I guess I'm more stressed out by cheer than anything else. Music, maybe. SIGH I NEED TO PRACTISE, TO BE MORE DISCIPLINED. Jumps are bad. My legs are weak/I just can't jump high and I need to work on it. I hate my ankle. Screw you stupid ankle.

UGH I GUESS IM JUST UNTALENTED LAH. Its like. My legs are too weak to carry my exponentially increasing weight. It's sad really.
I guess I would need to train double/triple more times harder when I recover.

countdown, 5 days!

2006-09-25T23:04:00.000+08:00

I'm trying to blog more nowadays cause it makes me stay awake.
Today went to library with Jo and borrowed some books. Since I'm probably gna pon tmr's swimming session (and I would need something to entertain me.) Alternatively I can just go for swimming and either (i) drown (ii) float endlessly cause well of course blubber has been growing all around.

It's the time of the year to shed some weight. My eating habits are going out of control already lah. But actually I never really bothered until I came to this school and everybody is like gaga over this type of things.. Oh well I guess when you start you can't stop.

Okay anyway I've got no pj's. Doesn't really matter though I'm not even looking forward to bronze. I was thinking of sleeping during swimming tmr.
Should I go?
Aiya maybe not. I can't anyway, probably.

Music today was rather okay. I mean, I just have to get some inferiority complex soon so that I can work on my music lah. I mean its so un-rich and un-filled its. Rather empty. Of course there are songs that are even more empty around the class, but I mean its either cause their instruments aren't here or because they're just not done with their music. I'm sure that it would sound a billion times better should they have the right instruments/worked on it more. Well, of course some of the songs were cliche..RGPS school songs.
Joaaaaaaane Tan has got relatively cool lyrics and melody. Too bad she caught the lazybug/composer's block!

GAH I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING YOUR MUSIC.

Oh well. I told her a lot of shit stuff about some people today. She would probably spill the beans one day (or maybe have already spilled the beans) but somehow I'm not concerned at all. She told me some things that I obviously got disgusted at, because of how naive some people can be. Naive is the wrong word something with -ve connotation would be better. Alright settle for foolish. Anyway I guess if someone is biased against you, it would be the same whatever you do; this statement is probably true 90% of the time?

It has come to a point where I do not care anymore, I'm writing it here so that when I get to upset over stupid pointless arguments I can just stare at this and tell myself that those people are not worth my time and thoughts. Well I'm getting worse at music nowadays I don't even think.

Although I know music is no where near the top of my list nowadays (Top is like. sleeping or something) nowadays I sleep like and wombat. I hope it would be at the top of my list one day, above EVERYTHING else. It has come to a point where I realised that sometimes with more commitments youve got to sacrifice, sometimes the things that you sacrifice are not really well what you would want to sacrifice but humans (I) have a low threshold of tolerance for arrogant, domineering and foolish/childish behaviors so once you step across the threshold, I'm sorry.

It's not that I can't put up with some childish/foolishness. Its because I choose not to because I feel that it isn't right, thats all.

2006-09-25T00:22:00.000+08:00

This is my 180th post!

While I would love to carry on ranting about how irritating some people can get, I would want my 180th post to be happy.
I'm thinking how that's possible given that I'm drowning in homework & nobody around me made me much happier in the last 24hours.

Forget about the 180th post. I'm gna rant.

Six more months
make it eighteen
then thirty, forty two.

Its endless
(pointless?)
confused, annoyed and furious.

Pathetic, loathsome, detestable.
Aesthetic beauty, running notes and beautiful melody.

Sad, melodious, talented.

我不管不看不想
衣服在风中被吹烂
在家外石道上刻着
心里说不出的怨恨

该是慈祥的你
根本没存在过。

I see pure randomness. you?

2006-09-23T23:17:00.000+08:00

Well some people are just so.. self-centered.
It horrifies, disgusts and annoys me to a very large extent.

Its not that I'm good but youre not up to standard.
your a facade that would vary with time.
a lie that would fade away
a mask that would wear off
a block of mass, a wastage of the world's resources.

I'm so excited I can jump with joy bounce off the walls.
I'm happy that I can break free
That I may have more time for myself and things that I like.

That sometimes I don't have to sit there, wasting my time; pretending to be interested in those meaningless discussions and gossips.
That I can spend my time more wisely.

I wonder why I wonder why he said he likedus.
I don't like this, I don't see how I can live with such people.
Won't my life be a waste?

A commitment I shall see it as
with no passion in all that mess
something that would give me peace
for if I don give
they will give me a miss

sometimes I wonder why I care
why I share why I tear
apart when I'm lost
in the tossed
open sashimi plates
to get rid of reds
and blues and greens in life.

youre not supposed to understand the above.

ESPLANADE
Sorry Jasmine I was late.
Haha to apologise I paid for our cookie!

That Debbie girl is cool.
Gelareeeeeee!!
:D; :(

Thursday here I come. Aren't you excited for me!
Margarets cool too. That RI guy has too many supporters so I shant root for him!

YAY GO MARGARET AND ... DEBBIE.(although I don kno you)

YAY YAY. This evening was good.

2006-09-16T01:37:00.000+08:00

Dear Piano,

I'm sorry for neglecting you the past few days. I would massage you the first thing in the morning when I wake up tomorrow. Oh unless Daddy tempts me with some food before I even remember your presence. I'm sorry, food is such a major distraction nowadays.

Eunice.

I'm sorry for being lame. I feel sorry for the dusty keyboard of that instrument called piano below my family picture and the metronome who hasn't spoken for days.. It must be dying to talk.

Gah.

Music oh music. For the untalented, one word: work harder.
Well.
At least there's no piano lesson tomorrow, so nothing to stress over on a Friday night. Gah. I get fortnightly stress-es on Fridays because WHY. I have freaking piano lessons on alternate Saturdays. And the only reason why I'm stressed is cause yours truly is lazy and she doesn't practise 1.5hours a day, something her almighty piano teacher expects of her.

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
YEH RIGHT.

1.5 hours is only possible during the holidays
Well unless. I practise till 12 plus and kill my poor neighbours.
Cause from 9-11 its like time when my parents are downstairs and normally the tv is on and there's a lot of noise its impossible to practise.

WOOHOO good luck to me.
Does this post sound happier? Its supposed to.

GAHHHHZ.

Towned today. Yeh spoilt brat you could have practised instead.
Stupid kid.
Anyway. At least I spent some money so I feel more accomplished than not buying anything and wasting my time when my time could have been spent more.. efficiently. Well the trip to SJI was a wet one. I HATE THE PUDDLES AT SJI, PLEASE.

LEAVE MY POOR OLD SHOES ALONE.
gah. The puddles had to hate me and make my shoes wet.

There's a lot of work to do, I just realised.
Oh no its Saturday tomorrow. Busy day! :X

2006-09-10T00:26:00.000+08:00

"...you've become more cheerful.. its not a bad thing..but its time you buck up."

Well you can guess who said that. Music used to be love, I'm not sure about whether it still is now, my mind seem to be cluttered with more important (in my view) wrongwrong things. Either that, or... Let's just put it this way, you know that vegetables are healthier, but you choose to take MacDonalds, anyway.

I feel so crappy sometimes, my priorities are totally wrong. If there were an occupation "TV addict" or something, I'm first to sign up. Or maybe something like, "all-rounded slacker", or something. My slacki-ness is totally getting haywire, its like I have absolutely no sense of urgency for things that are left undone, like feeding my dog or getting simple major scales imperfect. You know, right now they're..interrupted.

I can't believe I'm gna take music major. I mean, it has been something that I wanted and that I fought hard for with my parents. But my love for music is diminishing.. I'm confused. I don't even know whether music played an important role in my heart, ever after I transferred out of nanyang. I know that the last few months of my school life in ny was great, in every musical sense - the thought of waking up and practising on this big plank of varnished wood that produced frequencies of hundreds of hertz was amazing. Playing on something I never thought I would touch for more than a mere few minutes; something that I shed tears over because I did not want to take it up; something that brought me closer to a lot of people; something that brought some meaning to the word music. Nothing could bring back this feeling though. I thought of getting a private tutor for this instrument I call love, I still am thinking of getting one. But the state of my piano.. I have got no confidence. I have got no reason to be confident that I can handle another instrument, not when my time is spent on eating, watching tv, slacking, going out, daydreaming. Its just wrong and I know thats an understatement I dont need you to tell me that.

I need to stay focused. I used to be so focused because I was busy. I never really settled for something I knew I could improve on, but now things are just wrong. This school make you get so used to failure, you don't even feel the pinch when something goes wrong. I'm totally numb towards grades nowadays, even when these grades are like grades that are out of the school's 0-5.0 thing. I neeeeeed to focus; Focus shall be my new f-word.

Sigh. Wish me luck and I hope I would be able t pull through, alive.
I need to score well. I don't want to score a merit or a pass or worse, a fail. I need a distinction and only I can make myself do it.

PRACTISEPRACTISEPRACTISE. quality>>quantity.
peace&love;

2006-09-07T14:35:00.000+08:00

I'm giving myself till three to blog! Its 2.35pm today.
GAH CAUSE at three it will be less warm :D
means I can go do other stuff instead of slacking at the computer.

Diarrhoea gives you bloated stomach you know! I have been diarrhoea-ing since I came back from pahang. GAH.
I need t find a freaking dress for Vivien's ROM :D

Sigh I hope I find one by december, or mid november!
I don't think searching for one now is a good idea cause what if I grow fat, then it would be a waste of money :D

Its past three but I'm hooked onto finding these funny things. Look what I've found:

look its pretty. I want t get this! yay tiaras. Can I be cheap and buy this for my sister :D

ain't this charm bracelet pretty! I'll turn you into a frog!

the handphone strap is cute right! :D
im thinking of getting one for my sis! :D But I still like the furball from comics connection in lot1!
I must go get it soon! Alternatively, rich kid Jo can be nice and buy it for me? -grins.

I want a new stuffed toy! This bear is from the Sally Winey collection. Jo promised t get me the bigbig one at esplanade. :(
I dont think I would ever get it.. ):

My favorite one from the SW collections. Isn't it cute! I think this bear resembles a painter.. all splashed in paint. It looks so innocent aww.

I'm looking at more stuff online! I think I'm gna recieve Tiffany's belated birthday present soon by mail so I can pass it to her when school reopens! :D

YAY! I hope her present is nice! Does anyone know when Eugenia's birthday is? Botty if you see this please tag! :)

2006-09-06T10:57:00.000+08:00

Camp was good.The food was okay! I shared most of my foood with Leslie, my fellow vegetarian! :D But you know, that poor guy can't eat eggs.
Well anyway.The insects there were really scary. In every sense of the word! There were large spiders, ants, leeches, grasshoppers, and detestable MOSQUITOES which gave me like, a LOT of bites.Thank you mosquitoes, you really kept me busy with the repellent and incessant scratching.
Nights in the cave were in some cases dirty and fun, though.
I think this camp is slack yet fun. I mean, we didn't get scolded at all (almost) except for some nagging here and there by the teachers and instructors.But well, it was a hell lot less than the level campp last year. So thats good.
There was a lot of singing! The guys sang a lot in the bus and train rides. We couldn't stand their boring singing (come on they sang each song at least twice before they moved on); so we started singing songs that everyone knew so we could sing together :D
The pool! We did funny boring stunts in the pool with the guys. I mean. BASE-ING IS FUN. and falling into the pool is fun too.
Last day we checked into the resort. My room had an ant nest! :( Well before lights out it was rather fun cause we had rather good foood (I ate more than any of the meals I had there XD) and there was this souvenir shop that sold no souvenir (they sold all junk food!) heehe so we bought a lot too! And we played pool and cards with some people and talked a little. Then lights were out and gah, my room was rather boring so hm I guess I slept too. But not so much of a bad thing although I would have preferred to be in Grace's room talking about.. shit stuff.
On the bus ride back we slept the first three hours then we had lunch. We stopped at some places where we spent most of our money there cos we were.. greedy and besides, we had nothing to spend on. I got Suzie a magazine a hongkong one which was in some sense expired but since HK fashion is like three months ahead, it doesnt matter. I got food for mommy and daddy too. Vivien has got technically nothing yet I couldn't find anything for her and I didn't want to get her food so. Gah well she can share with dad and mom and the rest of the family! We talked a LOT ON THE BUS RIDE BACK GOSH IT WAS LIKE. Really incessant talking for two hours. :D
FUNNYFUNNY.
HEEHEE MY MIAO SHOU REN XIN!wooohoo.
Stupid elaine has the taped version GAHHHH. I missed 2 whole episodes, okay.Alright byebye!

2006-08-31T21:09:00.000+08:00

Gahz stanleys annoying me cause he has been bugging me for the pictures since don't know when and its not as if I don't want to give him I mean..

Nevermind shan't say it here.

But no, he has to add me just to get the pics.
And totally like wasted a few seconds of my time saying hi to him.
And no, he has to say hi to me in 8573095385-0138 languages just cause I was afk.
I hate this.

I'm doing you a favor you stupid Stanley Teo. You rude little shit. I swear I'm gna make you stretch till your split is like, 360 degrees next time and make you cry in pain.

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

My gawd expo was fun. We ended up buying lots of foood and some clothes (me and jo) instead of buying any electronic gadgets. But we spent a lot of time at the electronics fair too kay! Sakae was..just too little. But Mojojojo Altron and Alex are just pure love! I mean, its funny. That shop with smelly smelly sock smell laaa. Oh fucjk, I'm freaking broke now.
And I have camp tomorrow. AND I HAVE NOT PACKED.

I'm sure Alex hasnt packed either, cause he hasn't recieved the checklist I sent him! HEHEEEE YAY IM NOT THE ONLY ONE.

I WANT TO SLEEP SLEEP SLEEP.

I'm gna copy all my lyrics so I can sing during camp!
I CAN'T BRING A FREAKING MP3. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LIFE SUCKSSUCKS.

i'm so sorry for what ive done.
i'm so sorry for what i become
i'm so sorry for wasting your time
.
.
.
i do everything for you
.
i eat like a fucking rabbit
.
.
what do i have to do

2006-08-27T15:04:00.000+08:00

I realised that I always blog here on sundays.
I guess its because I have a lot to say about the week or smth. Don't know.
Tomorrow is monday again. I can't help but feel sorry for myself, because. Its freaking monday and no, the school doesnt help much to people who suffer from monday blues because my monday is freaking physical.

DAMN.

ITS BLOODY PHYSICAL.
I'm surprised that I didn't really blog on tuesday. Or monday night, to be specific. Afterall that physical-ness, :X I mean. Basically you would expect my post to be freaking physical.

OH WELL IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN, DONT BOTHER.
youre not supposed to.

Ah bloody two hours. it freaking feels like two days, I swear.

Anyway, charity concert was funny. I guess. I didn't stay for the debrief. :D I went for supper and ate super nice food.
I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO TRAININGS.

Although my cartwheels are getting worse and it doesnt help that jo supposedly my shifu when it comes to cartwheels hates me. Oh wells its okay.
The disciple can't do anything, can she.

And its not only the cartwheels, its the splits too. No doubt I managed to do my best split this week - my stomach and my ass touched the floor BUT. I think I overstretched and I have this disgusting overstretched feeling at my thigh that almost caused me to kiss the floor and die. And it freaking hurts so bahh.

And it was bad on thursday as in really bad. Then I rested on thursday night and I did more stretching on friday there was a mild pain and saturday was rather bad.

GAAAAAH NO.
I'm gna need more than two weeks to perfect this split.
and then I'm gna need more than two years.
two decades.

Basically I will never perfect my split la, huh.
damndamndamn.

IM SAAAAAD SOMEONE PLEASE OFFFER TO BUY ME A TEDDY TO MAKE ME HAPPY.

2006-08-14T01:00:00.000+08:00

No words can describe my hatred for large piles of HOMEWORK (UNDONE ONES OF COURSE).

Tomorrow is MONDAY oh MONDAY BLUES.
What a great way to start the week, getting all physical.

2hours of it. And plus, my report is like, undone.
Well done Eunice :D

Not to mention all the crappy chinese homework. Whats that, 1 essay and 1 compre.
Maybe I should do compre now. Then laoshi would have nothing to say tmr. I mean, its just one zuowen anw. Its not even a zuowen la please, its a yingyongwen which only costs 20 friggin marks. Why do I even bother doing, man.

Life sucks.
Correction: HOMEWORK SUCKS. Especially when they're like, gna be overdue/is alr overdue boohoo.
Its time I start doing those yucky assignments.

EWW!!

2006-08-11T15:42:00.000+08:00

I totally miss trainings. Actlly I have been missing it since 9th august, yeah. I miss the MRT station! And so after carecorner on 10th aug, I told Daddy that I would go home myself. Heehee and I took train home! Goody. I missed school today. Which means I missed dance. -gasps- Lots of catching up to do on monday.. There's music class later, wish me luck. I'm feeling so empty inside, suddenly. But why I do not know. Thankfully there's music class later. At least there's a tinge of weight hung around my chest, reason being I have not practiced. -teleports myself to Dusty and start punching him-

2006-08-09T21:24:00.000+08:00

Maybe because I'm possessive and I don't like to share what I have with others, especially things that I have put my heart into.
Sigh I don't know.
Maybe I should try to open up to changes more. I'm okay at adapting after a while but the starting just sucks.

I really don't want.
I really don't.
HOWWWW!
I really don't want.
Its like I have a really bad feeling. That if the school accepts the proposal, everything would be different. It would be so restricted.
We won't enjoy it as much.

Sigh, life sucks.

oh thankew jong too. I missed you in the last entry, accidentally.

2006-08-08T23:05:00.000+08:00

Whee.
Today was good.
Dinner was good and so was cheer and sports day.
I don't like the fact that the person that stopped our music had no decency to apologise to us personally; but Miss Angela Loh had sufficient common sense to make a public apology anyway which was okay. She shouldn't have anyway, it wasn't her fault and the person who was at fault should apologise, not her.
And I cannot stand random people who says all sorts of things when the music stops; tries to be funny thinking that she could be like amuse the whole cohord but no, she failed. ANS FAILED HORRIBLY. SHE IS NOT THE ONE DOING IT; SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW IT GODDAMN FEELS TO HAVE PUT YOUR HEART AND SOUL INTO ALL THIS AND THEN GET LAUGHED AT BY SOME RANDOM PERSON WHEN THE MUSIC STOPS (WHEN IT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO); its just because she fails to see how serious we are about this entire routine thing although we may be smiling and making weird noises and screams.
And even though we know that THAT RANDOM PERSON is not worth our eardrums vibrating, it just affects us somehow. Rather, it annoys and irritates.
And when she said, "FIBO CHEERLEADERS DO IT AGAIN" , THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW.
Firstly, it is NOT our fault, mind you. It is NOT a technical problem either, technically. (pun). It is a human error and that cannot be denied, agree? So you agree. So why should we do it again. Why should we waste all the unnecessary energy to do something that we have already done ONCE? It does not make any sense.
Secondly, the first part of our routine was PERFECT. ALMOST, RATHER. On our part it was rather perfect, and we see no reason why we should change, to accomodate your error, or rather, your good friends error.
Thirdly, there wasn't a tiniest whisper of apology during the entire silence, even though you knew your friend/you were at fault. Which means you were not apologetic, AT ALL. AND THAT MAKES THINGS WORSE.

And so, when she asked us to do it again, I practically screamed/ shrieked and said that it isnt our fault, we WILL NOT repeat it, simple as that. If we started all over again, the whole morale would be loww. Joanne started crying at first when the music stopped. That was how much effort we put into the entire routine.

The second performance wasn't as good, and James came. (: Oh well he expected falls, but our libertiesssss. PLEASEE THEY WERE GOOD AND IT MADE ME HAPPY IT MADE MY DAY IT MADE ME CLAP MY HANDS.
TRAININGS ARE GOOD FOR HEALTH. (((:

YESSYESSS MORE TRAININGS. UNTIL MY WRISTS BREAK AND MY CALFS GET SORE AND MY NAILS GET CHIPPED.
AND UNTIL THE FLYER'S NOSE BREAKS. (kidding.) heehee.

I LOVE:

Yujia
Sharlene
Yuting
Angela
Joanne
Aiwei
Gabriel
Bryan
Eugenia
Carissa
Karyen
Mira
Tiffany
Theo
Benjamin
Altron
&James

Nothing would have been possible without any of you! :D
I'm in a lovey dovey mooood yay.

2006-07-28T20:47:00.000+08:00

I'm bored so I decided to move

http://redbuckwheat.diaryland.com

2006-07-27T13:38:00.000+08:00

thursdays are boring, for me at least.
flemings having cheer prac. which means no entertainment for me
i wonder what theyre gna do, swedish falls? aish don't know. i prefer surprises, actually.

XD

1st august is coming! that fag friend of mine commented that nyse was not worth he's time. well im just gna make him feel stupid. jasmines keyboard is weird and hard to type, her com seems to be lagging. sad to say.

argh im feeling fat and lousy these days. i dont know. maybe i should go write a fic and save it in my thumby now. something that would inspire me.

something that would not annoy/terrify me, unlike someone. ah fuck.
byebye. till the next time.
<3.

2006-07-16T00:11:00.000+08:00

why am i expanding exponentially.

This doesn't feel right. It isn't right.
& this time no one can make me feel better.

2006-07-14T21:40:00.000+08:00

Some people just like to put others down to make themselves feel superior.
When they probably aren't in general. Well, just a random observation.

Its surprising how those people do it.
They must have skin as thick as rice cakes, yum.

String was much of a screw up, heck. 5hours of rehearsal can't bring you anywhere. I can't believe I didn't choose to go home afterthat; I must have gone bonkers.

I probably still am.

2006-07-14T06:43:00.000+08:00

I don't know why I'm blogging at 6.40am but I'm here so listen to my rants.

(I will not rant); I try not to.

Omg I totally felt like a delinquent yesterday. I somehow found my way home from some ulu place, Balestier. There were so many of those.. shophouses there it looked old and frightening. And cause of my blackface (when I dont smile) and my probably eyes filled with hatred hoho, people that I walked past totally stared at me (partly also cause I was walking along the highway and they prolly thought I was gna commit suicide or smth) anyway for anyone that stared I just started cursing. As in right in their face. I dont even know how I managed to do that la; but I wont do it again anw, cause some of the people that I sweared at look like a looney and I wonder how I even dared to stare right into their eyes.

Sometimes I dislike my parents a lot, because my mom can be as annoying as say some traditional aunty you see in the market & my dad just does nothing to help me. Cause whatever mom says is right. Or so he thinks.
But you know I still love them a lot.
Anyway so yesterday I was being naughty cause my mom pissed me off in some way and I just refuse to sit on dad's car home. Somehow God pitied me and somehow I crawled back home la. No, that isn't the point. The point is, I'm trying not to talk to my mom now to (a) make her feel bad about what she has done to make me loathe the ride home so much that I refuse to sit on dad's car (b) so that I will not start rattling on about how unprofessional she is and blahblah and get into a catfight again.

But its super hard not to talk to her la. Its like I have to constantly remind myself not to talk to her, and it doesnt always work. I wonder how those delinquents do it.

There's cheer today. Apparently all houses are going to train. HOW BORING. Nowadays trng is getting a little boring, or should I say meaningless. But I know this is just a phase that will eventually pass, lets give it a few more days. Its prolly called cheerophobia, no? No. Its not a phobia its a phase so maybe acheerphase. Cause a = not so hmm. Anyway I get this acheerphase like every three months or so cause I get so sick of doing the same thing and I need changes. But I guess its gna be okay still, cause when I've gotten sufficient break from trngs that my brain desperately needs I'll be back. But right now the mood just isnt right.

2006-07-09T23:38:00.000+08:00

I cant stand myself, im being so pissy nowadays.The worst part is that I don't even bother saying it out to the people I'm being pissed at cause I'm just being annoying as usual and keeping all that shit to my pitiful scraps of junk paper near my table. The best part is I don't even look pissed when I am because there's no point. So if I openly tell you that I hate you in the month of July, I probably don't. Or I really do.
Life's a bitch. School's a bitch. I miss the holidays and I need my sleep till like 8:00am or something.I don't understand why Singapore schools begin so early in the morning. For goodness sake pity those twelve year olds getting up at like 6:30am in the morning. Even Mr. Sun - as in that one in the solar system doesn't rise so early.
I hate work that's piling in. I don't understand the need for homework, nor do I understand why sometimes I'm just so possessed to even bother completing it.On a lighter note, my dad is not making noise about me wanting to drop physics. I figured that he understands that when I'm not passionate about the subject its just GAME OVER for me. I don't even bother trying. I don't see the point in going through the pain of listening or reading things that makes my eyes cry.
And its not those tears that you shed while watching Goong or whatsoever. I know Goong is such an old donkey example I mean probably 3/4 of the world got over the serial already cause the rest of the 1/4 of the world is probably Arabic or something or don't own tv/internet. I think I enjoy watching passe kdramas. As in those that you turn on the tv and on cable they just have some passe kdrama on. You probably don't even know what its called but you just watch on the drool at nice clothes that the female leads wear and cry over your pathetic wardrobe.
My sis got engaged? I think. No, I think she just got an engagement ring. Some cheapskate ___ carat ring. Okay I'm just being mean as usual you all know I love my family a lot.
There's physics tomorrow. Its gonna be a physical monday. More reasons for having monday blues, no?

2006-07-08T20:24:00.000+08:00

empty.
empty bottles.
vacíe estómago.

Necesito un estómago vacío que necesito dejar de comer.
Mi cuerpo es una masa gorda. Grasa. Grasa. Gigantesco. Demasiado grasa colosal. Demasiado grande mover. Demasiado grande bailar. Demasiado grande hacer la rueda.
Necesito el entrenamiento para hacer algunas pesas que necesito ejercitar. Para quemar las calorías, las grasas. Para ser flaco una vez más. Para ser flaco. Para ser demacrado. Para ser...
Desaparecer en el aire delgado.
Necesito morir de hambre. Su una necesidad.

im sorry.

2006-06-26T22:22:00.000+08:00

first day of schools okay.
mewziiic's cool.

The mirror seems
truthful; and truth hurts.
Those numbers
accelerating exponentially
cuts into the heart;
gives pain
and suffering.

When we eat
we fear
When we run
we fear
When we drink
we fear
that the
numbers will be
merciless.

That the fat and
oil in us
will increase
as we exercise our
teeth our
tongue our
tastebuds our
stomach our
intestines our
pancreas our
every part of the human
digestive system.

We get mad
when the scale shouts
"stop!"
We get unhappy
even when the scale
laughs;
Cause humans we are
we never know how to stop,
even if we are getting
thinner by the day
(if it happens)
prettier by the day
(if it happens)
...
if it happens.
But humans won't stop
they carry on.
being skinnier;
more malnourished;
face, wan.

Just like how
humans don't stop
munching; cause they
don't know how to.

watch over the hedge and you will know why.

2006-06-23T21:15:00.000+08:00

i neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed to lose it.
i dont want school to start.
nooooooooooooo.

my thumbs are like breaking. both hands ey! and i dont even know why.

so soft and uncompunded is their essence pure, not tied or manacled with joint or limb, nor founded on the brittle strength of bones, like cumbrous flesh;

2006-06-20T22:03:00.000+08:00

I don't know why some people try to seem like they know a lot when they don't.
They think that they're so smaaart and know everything about ~~weight issues~~ WHEN THEY OBVIOUSLY DON'T.

...if they think that they're that good, live through the last two years of my life.

then they'll know how terrible it feels to put on >5kg in two years and how it feels when you have layers of blubber out of the blue around your stomach - which was totally flat long time ago; when all of a sudden you figure that extra lump of fat underneath your chin and your legs look like. two pillars. those really big fat ones. then all those muscles start to disappear, more blubber takes over the space the muscles used to be. then you see your arms getting as thick as your shin(prev).

if ONLY she cld live through that. and not make a freaking big fuss over small matters.
and make me all annoyed, and dont assume. and just do her job and not anything EXTRA.

it only works in ideal situations; -now dont you know who im talking about.
damn.

2006-06-18T17:45:00.001+08:00

You scored as Accounting/Finance/Econ. Related majors that match your highest scored category: Accounting, Business Management, Computer/Management Information Systems (CIS or MIS), Economics, Entrepreneurship, Finance, Hospitality, Human Resource Management, International Business, Leadership, Marketing, Mathematics, Operations Management, Industrial/Organizational Psychology, Public Administration, Real Estate, Risk Management, Sports Management, Statistics.

Consider all majors in your OTHER high scoring categories. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it. Consider adding a minor or double majoring. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

Accounting/Finance/Econ

81%

Nursing/AthleticTraining

75%

English/Journalism/Comm

75%

Psychology/Sociology

69%

Education/Counseling

69%

HR/BusinessManagement

63%

Visual&PerformingArts

63%

French/German/Spanish

63%

Mathematics/Statistics

56%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

56%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

44%

Physics/Engineering

44%

Religion/Theology

31%

History/Anthropology

31%

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

2006-06-15T14:06:00.000+08:00

"Why can't you understand that when you give, you feel even better than when you receive a present? Why are you so selfish, so calculative, so.." her voice trailed off.She couldn't carry on. She knew her tone was so unforgivable. For a moment she thought she felt five fingers on her cheeks, all flushed from the anger.
Emree grew up learning that to give is more fortunate than to receive. That was what her parents taught her. She gave her clothes that were mostly rather new, toys that meant nothing to her anymore to the Salvation army every Christmas without fail. She topped up bills for her friends, who were probably unwilling to do the same for her, but she didn't mind. She didn't mind because she knew that it was more fortunate to give than to receive. She knew that giving whenever she had the capability was even more rewarding than giving when she was told to; she knew that giving would allow her to feel happy. And such happiness can only be bought with money, ironically.
-
However much she wanted to help the poor, she often found herself splurging on clothes during summer sales, taxi bills, fashion magazines and occasionally cosmetics. Nevertheless, she couldn't understand why some people never lent others coins when they needed something from the vending machine but have the guts to beg others for coins when they were in the same situation. She couldn't understand and she didn't want to; she was utterly disgusted at their behavior. But she tried not to think too much about it.
Because she knew those people and she worked with them.
Because she didn't want to fall out with them.
Because she didn't want to cause more trouble.
Because..
she didn't want to be implicated. She didn't and will not care.
-

2006-06-09T22:19:00.000+08:00

Melissa Kim pushed button on top of the toilet bowl. There goes her dinner, probably half of it - assuming that the other half has been digested by her stomach, already.

Having dinner with her parents wasn't a good thing. Having dinner with ANYONE, rather, wasn't at all a good idea. Her friends would complain that she ate too little, as they grew suspicious about why she was always visiting the toilet after food. Or worse, during the course of the meal. Her parents, worried that she may end up like her sister, Amelia, an inpatient. They watched her pick up every single vegetable, every single piece of meat loaded with fats, grease and calories and made sure that it went into her mouth.

Today was supposedly the day before her father had to go on a business trip. So the family used that as an excuse to eat out, at the restaurant near town yet AGAIN. That means she couldn't feed excess food to her dog under the table or make it a point that she has eaten out with her friends (which was most of the time the truth); and that made her mad.

"Another 3 hours on the treadmill.." she muttered to herself as she opened the door of the cubicle, only to see the butler staring at her, eyes wide open, as if he had not seen any girl puking in a toilet.

She rinsed her mouth. The water tasted sweet; the acidic taste was all gone, thankfully. She picked up her new Guess handbag she bought at the recent end of season sale for a cheap $40, left the toilet, leaving no tip for the butler who had casted her a dirty look.
-
Jim was in the driver's seat, under the blistering afternoon sun. She was already ten minutes late.

He knew that she would never be late, never beyond 5 minutes; because she knew that he hated tardiness and she didn't want to agitate him. What made her so late today then? He had already made a reservation at the Japanese restaurant in the city, and if she didn't come out soon they would be late.

Inside the house, Melissa was putting on some make-up, still confused on what she had to wear. Rather, what she could wear. She had eaten too much over the week, and that caused her to put on more than 6 pounds of weight. She could still fit into her Levis, but.. it didn't seem good. Shorts? No, she would just expose her thunder thighs and under the sun, her cellulite would probably be seen. She hasn't worked out for the past few weeks anyway, the exams were around the corner, and being a perfectionist as she always was, she needed to score well. And well meant aceing every single subject.

"Jim is already downstairs.. He has been there for the past ten minutes sugar!" Mrs Kim hollered across the hallway.

She glanced at the clock.

"Oh fuck." she sweared. "LATE!"

She tried the sundress that she bought last week, the sundress that was rather loose. Okay, it didn't look that bad, it didn't.

"You look like you're bursting out of it, Melissa."she whispered to herself, staring back at her reflection. Her reflection seemed as if she was twice her size. She didn't know whether it was because her vision was blurred or was it all psychological.

She broke down. Now her mascara was smudged, and she looked like a badly decorated voodoo doll. An obese one.

"Tell him that I caught a cold, and I'm still in bed." she opened the door and shouted downstairs.
Her mom didn't ask much, she knew. She knew that Melissa would become Amelia's mini-me one day. But she can't do much... it just hurts.

You bad girl, you should have stuck to the carrots and cucumbers. Who asked you to succumb to temptations and eat those calorie loaded foods. Its your fault that you're fat, its your fault that you can't fit into your clothes. ITS ALL YOUR FAULT. You cannot and shall not blame anyone..
-

hoho to be contd.

2006-06-03T21:23:00.000+08:00

While she was waiting for her Prince Charming to appear, all she could do was dream. She fell in love for the first time when she was eleven, en route from her house to school. On the first day of term, she discovered that she was not alone on her way to school: making the same journey was a boy who lived in her neighborhood and who shared the same timetable. They never exchanged a single word, but gradually Maria became aware that, for her, the best part of the day were those moments spent going to school: moments of dust, thirst and weariness, with the sun beating down, the boy walking fast, and with her trying her hardest to keep up.

This scene was repeated month after month; Maria, who hated studying and whose only other distraction in life was television, began to wish that the days would pass quickly; she waited eagerly for each journey to school and, unlike other girls her age, she found the weekends deadly dull. Given that the hours pass more slowly for a child than for an adult, she suffered greatly and found the days far too long simply because they allowed her only ten minutes to be with the love of her life and thousands of hours to spend thinking about him, imagining how good it would be if they could talk.

Then it happened.

One morning, on the way to school, the boy came up to her and asked if he could borrow a pencil. Maria didn't reply; in fact, she seemed rather irritated by this unexpected approach and even quickened her step. She had felt petrified when she saw him coming toward her, terrified that he might realize how much she loved him, how eagerly she had waited for him, how she had dreamed of taking his hand, of walking straight past the school gates with him and continuing along the road to the end, where -- people said -- there was a big city, film stars and television stars, cars, lots of cinemas, and an endless number of fun things to do.

For the rest of the day, she couldn't concentrate on her lessons, tormented by her own absurd behavior, but, at the same time, relieved, because she knew that the boy had noticed her too, and that the pencil had just been an excuse to start a conversation, because when he came over to her, she had noticed that he already had a pen in his pocket. She waited for the next time, and during that night -- and the nights that followed -- she went over and over what she would say to him, until she found the right way to begin a story that would never end.

But there was no next time, for although they continued to walk to school together, with Maria sometimes a few steps ahead, clutching a pencil in her right hand, and at other times, walking slightly behind him so that she could gaze at him tenderly, he never said another word to her, and she had to content herself with loving and suffering in silence until the end of the school year.

once you lose that chance; its gone forever.

2006-05-27T11:36:00.000+08:00

aissh am i just bored or what.
but anyway, cheerleading is ONE WORD; HAHA this is funny xD
okay you know, eunice isnt mean most of the time but when she becomes mean then HAHA.

aissh this is cool.
i finish watching full house. i think apart from the fact that they had disgusting people that i loathe (which is prolly why i even bother watching) and cute-faced Rain; its pretty typical showw so hmm, i thought goong was more refreshing. okay la maybe cause they have more pretty faces + cool costumes. :D

you know this games day we didnt even bother bitching (wow).
cause they are far too insignificant ; yay.

there was this cute kitty outside my house this morning. its brown and has some light stripes - beautiful. anyway we fed it milk and bread. i sat at the doorstep for like about 45 minutes playing with it until caramelle became jealous and whined behind the door :D

aaah pets get jealous so easily, sigh.

ANGELA. K is a darling. eeeeehe what house is she from! aah flyer.

2006-05-21T12:33:00.000+08:00

Dear Eunice,

I have noticed that you have been eating a lot the past few days. The scale, which havent been visited by yours truly since forever, would love to know how ~~heavy~~ you are. Please refrain from excessive eating as of 21st May 2006, 1300hrs, and time to get your butt off the computer and go burn some calories.

Your Guardian Angel
okay so i am schizophrenic. that pretty much told you what i have been doing the past few days. half a tub of ice-cream and loads of nutella. TIME TO WORK OUT FOR GOODNESS SAKE.

lee dong wook
mhm i think he acted in my girl (didnt watch) but i decided to watch some low resolution hanoi bride on youtube. he was starred in that showw.

DADDY
on lian he wan bao. haha i just decided to post it. :D

joo ji hoon
you've heard enough about him. uh lee shiin laa.

kim jung hoon
haha his songs are nice. but he has a pretty much hate-able role in goong (at first); anyway he is smart in reallife which is hot.

yoon eun hye
yay uh babyvox.

song ji hyo
ehehe wishing stairs and she is prettaye.

i want to go cycling. eeh okay i shall get offline and get some work done now. as in figure where i would wna go later, maybe.

oh and latest news. haha dad is only going to china for 11 days yay.

2006-05-20T10:22:00.000+08:00

having a new blogskin = tendency to blog more often!
this is gooood.

daddy got some model teacher thing;
he was on the lian he wan bao yesterday!
eeeeeeehe ooh my dad is cuute. i liked the second pic on the article, cause the first pic looked weird.
aaah daddy is love.

AND I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE THIS JUNE.
which is bad bad news cause then i've probably got no wheeere to go.
aaaah i neeeeed to go somewhere nice. even if its somewhere near. now m'sias out though, unless its cold and nicee; then i really wouldnt mindd heehee.
hmm daddy's going to china for three weeks = no ffoood at home = bad cause mom cant cook.
and she aint gna hire a maid for three weeks cause she claims that she would be free to do the housework. (mhm i'm not too sure bout this; i think the part time maid thing seems to be better).
and we all can starve to death together.
oh and daddy overseas = no secret allowance which is bad too cause need to scrimp and save.

theres this little window outside one of the counters in kino, the taka one. the trees outside the window are really b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l. they dont look like spore's trees at all; its like some random random tree you see in like more temperate countries, about a month before winter or rather mid autumn. aaah its pretty, lah.

okay off to watch more boring stuff. [:

2006-05-19T14:24:00.000+08:00

topshop drreesses are expensivvvve.
okay they are not that, i mean in general decent dresses are expensive, so.
harinhae chushigessumnikka?
pleaaase say yes.

ahhh okay eunice is like dreaming and hoping for the hopeless.

syoping kago shipsumnida. hai but yours truly has no money.
ddonate to me by paying for my haircut la.

fashion shows are such deserts for my eyes.
poor y.e.h, she's got shorter legs than all the mods, hmm looks weird.

yay fashion shows are yummm.

2006-05-12T08:43:00.000+08:00

yay halfway through the papers! (actlly more than halfway through)

anyway I like the way things are now cause its like in 2004, where after the papers (each paper) we just go out and play or be no life and stay in the school's gym doing stupid weird stuff like flipping into that sponge pool, standing on the bars and... stupid stuff basically. then at about four?five? we would just pack our bags and head home, half cursing the paper that we have the next day and going home to try and mug after watching the 9 o clock show. or sometimes maybe before.

yesterday we went to yoshinoyaa at bukit panjang plaza, hm that ulu place. maybe its not that ulu after all, since its like.. renovated. THAT YOSHINOYA HAS BADBAD HYGIENE. then headed to comic connection, which i absolutely had nothing to do there while waiting for kris, jo and eugenia to look at stuff (and they went into the shop for so so long and didnt buy anything), so i felt bad for the shopkeeper and forced that pressed lip smile when i got out of the shop.

the day before yesterday we went to westmall and ate.. ate KFC. then we walked and walked and walked into comic connection (again), it was not till about 3.30pm when i excused myself to go to the toilet (and never came back). no laa it was cause i took forever to come out of the toilet, then i walked to the escalator to go a level down and opposite me was comic connection and i saw no eugenia/jo lookalikes there so i figured they must have gone already since it was 3.45 when i came out. oh then i somehow found myself at the library (yes the ulu westball bt batok one) reading some book about how to take care of your pet (??) - dont ask me why i even read that. anyway i got bored of that book in less than 5 minutes and i decided to opt for a beautifully colored book that was about sharks and i stayed till about 4++ before heading home.

today i shall just go and sleep my entire vesak day away, 'cos my nose is running like a tap.

2006-05-08T11:17:00.000+08:00

Release Date:
27th July 2006
Details:
G, Sports/Comedy
Starring:
Vanessa Lengies, Maddy Curley, Jeff Bridges, Missy Peregrym, Nikki SooHoo[full cast]
Directed by:
Jessica Bendinger
Local Distributor:
Buena Vista International
A 17 year-old, ex-gymnastics star with big family problems finds herself on the wrong side of the law after one-too many arrests. Forced back into the regimented world of gymnastics to clean up her act, she rediscovers her love of the sport and gets the chance to make peace with her dysfunctional life. Empowered by her transformation, she rallies fellow gymnasts to protest and outsmart outdated scoring methods at the National Championships.

i'm gna watch thhis, i think.
today is reading day so lets read.
i went to borders for a short while yesterday to look for nice novels.

" a wasted trip"
gahh.
maybe i'll go mandeville to get new cello strings today, who knows what i'll do later HEEHEE.
YAYY CANT THE SCHOOL HAVE MORE READING DAYSSS.

2006-05-01T15:44:00.000+08:00

Heehee look at our pretty zebrafish.

There's a half blind one (which is quite pitiful) and another one with super long fins (it was half-dying when we left the lab.

2006-04-30T23:57:00.000+08:00

mhm jay chou writes perfect song lyrics.

sucks la tmr i'm supposed to have calli comps finals, its like er at 10 then i have animal behav expt from 8.30 to like afternoon perhaps. then mom's gna nag cause i'm not going for the finals.

THIS SUCKS.

oh man and anw. my com's prolly gna crash soon not like i care.
ahh eunice stop being mean(er).

i'm still angry over the fact that the letter wasnt open earlier.
-growls.

2006-04-29T19:47:00.000+08:00

tsktsk.

Hari hurry own up!
okay that was lameee.

i'm gna watch. watch stick it. i think.
haha yay nicenice. its so cool la i watched the trailers.

life's a bitch.
truuust me you'd feel so when three empty cabs pass and they just refuse to stop for you.
those nasty cab drivers.

aiyoh actlly nothing is really happening lately. mhm 24 has officially ended days back so no more videos.
i dont dare to watch other videos in case it spoils my perception of k dramas.

oh yeah anw today i stopped by westmall to buy myself something and do random shopping and i saw 34359082 ny people.
aiyo why they so no life go westmall. hai. so cuute. but westmall sakaeee renovated and now its..waaah nice.

horangi ajummma. <3!

2006-04-21T18:51:00.000+08:00

AIYOOOOOOOOH EUNICE AHHH CANNOT EAT ALREADY.

naneun kogiru mokshi ansumnida.
i sakae-ed today laaaa dieee i ate 9 plates.
so i called it buffetttttt hehe.

AIYAHHHHHH DONT EAT DONT EAT!!

(i wanted ala carte at first. then changed to buffet cause i wanted the watermelons)

araso?

2006-04-18T18:52:00.000+08:00

i know i'm a bore, really.
my life is a bore. i cant believe i started watching episodes 10 11 12 yadada today again.
i missed school and was really bored at home.

refused to do my homework. HAHA typical me.
i just realised that hyorin is like super pretty at some angles. (:
and i also realised that jjh is like, gay-ish when he models.

let the pictures do the talking. i wasted my day away.

ALL MALE MODELS HAVE PRETTY BODIES. AS IN GIRL TYPE OF PRETTY.

UHHHHHHHHHHHH 20 21 OUT! <333333333333

EDIT:

i'm done with 20 and 21! gawd 21 is good, the ending. I hate 20 its sad and mhm not nice. actlly i dont know if i would be missing school tmr, cause i'm having a veryvery bad stomachache right now (dont knw why) it doesnt seem like gastric cause its like the whole stomach (including the gastric part) so this sucks. if this carries on till tmr i'll prolly just faint and skip school.

goodnight i'll go and rush some overdue work. =x

2006-04-15T18:08:00.000+08:00

aiiish i'm growing fatter.

i havent been doing anything much since friday i'd better get down to doing some serious work lest i feel horrible on monday (again) knowing that zqing and vivian would have done everything! -growls.

i chanced upon this and i thought it looked pretty so i erh thought i would wna post it here!
friday and saturday were really fruitful days => now i'm happy! erh wouldnt tell you why cause we dont know if misssneakypants is around so shhhhhhhhhh. we know best.

yay.
(P1 is true, we need to verify that P2 and Pn is true la.!)
huuuuh? -nods you wouldnt know.

I DIDNT KNOW BEGGARS EXISTED IN CLEMENTI AVENUE ONE, 20. LIKE WOWWW give me a break i need a kitkat.

but there again i'm getting fatter. say no to kitkat.! HAHA.
an nyeong ha sae yo! (:

2006-04-08T11:55:00.000+08:00

MUSIC.

MUSIK.

MEWZIQUE.

THATS ALL FOR NOW.

<3 my concert master. china boy.

concert on may thirteenth. i'm gng. so i'm gna book those cheapo tickets.

2006-04-07T03:36:00.000+08:00

my life's a screw up.

gahhh theres ir tmr and guesss what i dont even knw what we're supposed to think about.
gawwwd its 3.35a.m now what am i doing here man.

anw todays concert was fabulous.
gahhhhaha the concert master was like. wheeeeeeeeeeeew. cool. hai.
too bad no such person with such immense musical talent exists in our school.

except for dr. wong maybe. don't know la but shes a teacher anw.

and who cld even think of sleeping when they are watching csi. mee.
i dont knw how.

i need to finish piano. QUICK.

<3

2006-04-03T02:22:00.000+08:00

something tells me that i needed to blog, so here i am.
i dont know what to post about actually, so heres something:

"이제 더 이상 망가지지 마요"

now i need to catch some sleep.
"dont ruin yourself anymore".

<3

2006-03-26T23:40:00.000+08:00

ahhhhhhhh i'm on a goong addiction now.

guess what i think i watched 7 episodes for the entire evening non stop yay.
i'm not even done with 17 - i'm planning to watch it like tmr and the day after cos if not i will be screaming in pain for goong episodes until 18 comes out.
HEHE. GUESS WHAT i have overdue stuff laaa but i'm here watching korean dramas.
and shin>> yul cause shin is nicer. oh wells we shall wait till the endd!

actlly i dont mind alfred the bear too. cause its all white ruffled and it has a hole on its butt. <3

okay maybe i'd post some pics later!

2006-03-20T22:22:00.000+08:00

I'M GETTING ALL PISSSY NOW SO FLY AWAY AND DONT BOTHER ME
MY DOCUMENT CANT BE RECOVERED BECAUSE MY SMART SISTER SUZANNE DECIDED TO SWITCH OFF THAT DAMN THING.

OH GOOD LUCK TO ME.

FUCK OFF AND DIEEEE.

2006-03-16T23:43:00.000+08:00

OMGFGGG
I DIDNT KNOW THAT IN 21ST CENTURY LOSER STILL USE LIKE
******* TO DEPICT NAMES.

LIKE WTH!
YOU SUCK REALLY AND THATS SAAAAAAAAAAAD.
okay your name is not here cause i dont want to defame. erghhhhhh yeah.
and cause my darling captain forbids us to blog bout any personal disputes. <3>DARLING S L U T (:

goodnight folks, eunice loves you.

2006-03-15T23:00:00.000+08:00

I hate this.

I really do.

I hate it when we feel threatened by something/someone.

When you hear things going around, something that will stop you from ganancia.

su ni es competitivo o lo que, pero el hecho que somos copiados continuamente por ellos día y noche, repetidas veces repetidamente otra vez me hacen enfermo. me hace trastorné cada vez mas y cuando alcanzo el pico que yo realmente no sé cómo bajarse. su deprimir/trastornando/desilusionando. eso cuando usted pone en el esfuerzo en algo, usted piensa que ir de youre en ser el No será, desde que youre demasiado grasa, demasiado alto, demasiado pesado. demasiado masa. ellos tienen la base, y usted se puso.

take me out of this misery, please.

goodnight folks. remember that eunice probably loves you (unless you just disappointed her) so have sweet dreams tonight.

los imitadores van el salto del edificio.

2006-03-13T09:07:00.000+08:00

I just figured how long it has been since i visited my darling blog.
not so much of a darling anyway, i dont love it a lot, seriously.

okay i shant confuse those random people who are reading - i bet you can count with like five fingers or smthg;
(with my terrible grasp of foreign language)

oh wells anyways, alls been great.
on saturday participated in wheeel get there.
oh well gnia tiff kris mira came! mira and i were in the same group and so we listened to mira's ipod most of the time. then minimelts! too bad i was sick ( i still am) so i couldnt eat. we waited for ezra's team to come along, so they could bring us back to hwa.
apparently ezra cant stand my " eeeeh you guys cant push wheeelchairs thing" which i do admit that i was a tad too picky and mean, but i guess the whole world knows that i'm that mean so. hur maybe i should start being kind. anyway the entire thing was like a pri school/tll/jiang reunion, i saw a lot of people i knew by face laa.

some teams were really terrible, they just kept quiet all the time, left the hwa people really bored! then others were okay, some were really enthu! i guess good teams have really cool tfs to make them more bonded and united!

this ri guy thought nushigh = stupid. okay perhaps he's that little bit smarter, but it doesnt help if he has shitty EQ.

GARH. okay la fugly boy was actlly quite okay, i talked to him a bit and figured he was a little geeky, but we shook him off at 4.30 cause we had to send someone back and i cant bear to leave darling mira with fugly boy can i! (er and i dont want to be stuck with him either, so hehe).

i saw.yuhan, this ri guy from my jiang class - mr. ri guy cause dont knw his name, melissa koh (rgps!), random tll/jiang guys and a lot of rg/rgp people!

eeeehe then after that ezra me mira started talking about hair. HAHAHAHAAHAHA I HATE EZRA. err kidding. nott that he/aiwei will see this anyway so if youre reading, shhhhhh.

then me mira gnia tiff ezra yinwei bryan went to tp hdb hub to have dinner! we talked shit and took stupid pictures on the mrt.

MIRA I FORBID YOU TO POST THOSE PICS ANYWHERE CAUSE THEY (ahem) SUCK.

oh yeah i read mira/gnia's post about the old campus. ahhhhh i really share the same sentiments as they do. gah the old campus was really cosy and nice, the dark/dim/bat-droppings infested fiboroom, the terrible music rooms, the CCRs, the track that is really old and dirty, the beautiful trees that turn white or pink entirely in march and september, the canteen with over-vandalised tables, the shady tennis courts, the powerpoints which we lose and unusable, the teachers, the small school population. no fancy libraries, auditoriums, dance rooms, canteens, tracks.. just old cosy furniture left behind by the rjc students.

how i wish i could relive those times. no mean staff, no schoool rules (or rather schoool rules that need not be adhered to strictly). where there were teachers that often invited gossip (i really mean gossip which entertained us during free periods.) the entire school cohord was so small we knew everyone and we could just talk to anyone; the teachers knew everyone and they were all nice and gossipy.

those were the times. and i really do miss it.

when you say you love me -josh groban

Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breathe.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive

And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment,I know why I'm alive

When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?

2006-03-03T23:38:00.000+08:00

CHEEEEEER PRAC TODAY WAS FUN!

hurhur angela rocks.
altron tooooo! double yay.

tmr briefing for WGT, gah dont knw if I should go, cause dont knw whether I can make it!

gahhhhhhhh. ):

2006-02-26T14:39:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY EUNICE(lim)!

i dont know, eunice probably wouldnt read my blog.
hurhur she doesnt read blogs - she abandoned hers anyway. since sec two she has made it a point that reading other peoples blog's a chore, which i pretty much agree sometimes.

so much has happened within the span of the past year.! i really miss nanyang a lot.
and euniceL and sylvia and angeline.
(: those happy memories at the swing, and string! (ponning it sometimes) and doing stupid things at coronation plaza.
strange but true, everytime i think of nanyang i see twofour.

so oh wells. i shant get into the nostalgic mood. afterall its time to move on.lets see if i can come up with a decent poem in three minutes:

las decisiones impulsivas pensaron una vez eso cambiaría su futuro para el puede resultar mejor ser mal muyequivocado
pero usted vive todavía en para la consideración de vivir raspar todo esas memorias del lado del corazón deldolor que espera que se vaya pero wouldnt, como caspa en una cabeza de hombre wouldnt va
usted trata de revivir el pasado que usted pudo, para cosas ha cambiado si para el mejor, o para el peor;usted se puso sabe que usted se puso la necesidad para saber
usted tiene miedo que la verdad cruel le puede engullir lejos el día menos pensado
Y así que usted vive en aunque no satisfecho y repleto de la angustia adolescente.

i need to go exercise soon, slog my ass off lest my weight sees an increase again.

2006-02-25T12:12:00.000+08:00

i only have 4 minutes before i leave for tll, but i would want to blog so that i wouldnt be grouchy all my way to learning lab.

firstly i guess it has been a terrible year from the start. i dont knw but the second month is coming to an end, my academics have been dropping. herms its really dropping like. gravitational acceleration. yeah and it sucks to know that sometimes you just can't..do much about it.
anyway, i think i am to blame as well. cause i dont study hard enough, i dont work hard enough, i dont excercise enough. i mean what has exercise got to do with it la but heck.
anyway it really sucks i dont know, cant find a better word to describe the mess that i am in now.
music, something that should hold very close to my heart seemed to drift away with time, because of the fact that i have not enough time. the core modules - music modules that i took, smthg that i was supposed to enjoy and ace, so happens to end up in a mess. really big mess. i dont want to break my trend of As in music, i really dont want to.
mira is right in the sense that we are bogged down with so much homework that when we look back at our high school years all we see is the tiny frame of ours, behind the stacks of overdue assignments, it isnt a cute sight i swear.
anyway, i need to go now, i realised this blog post aint making me feel better its making me feel worse la.
i love you all.

2006-02-21T20:30:00.000+08:00

yay i'm finally at my PC.
double yay cause it is being reformatted.
HEHE.
Mi peso publica otra vez. su manejarme nueces. significo que quiero realmente volver a mi noviembre 04 estado: muriendo de hambre la etapa. Recientemente mi dieta ha estado en el hacia abajo resbaladero - significando que la escala debe haber estado acelerando de manera exponencial yo hago ni me atrevo mirarlo. Pienso que debo haber estado comiendo demasiado he estado obteniendo los ratos mareados actualmente. En este momento (hace algunos segundos) yo casi me caí la silla - perdió el equilibrio. Cause quizás que mi marco del cuerpo no pueda tomar el peso de mi asno gordo, la grasa gorda de estómago nada. Yo no puedo ser cincuenta, causo que mi bottomline sea cuarenta nueve, y cuarenta nueve serán. Cuando tan, yo no traeré dinero para educar mañana y los días después que y días de días después que y no comer en la escuela. Hoy acabo de comer lejos demasiado. Quise purgar, pero perdí mi habilidad de hacer así. ¡Soldado desaparecido en acción, dónde están usted! Ana ha estado perdiendo desde que eones hace, acabo de esperar que puedo volver a un peso decente - a lo más cuarenta siete por marzo o abril. Hasta entonces, viviré todavía en auto negación y la depresión. Cause cada vez que miro en el espejo, yo veo a una 150 chica de la libra que mira fijamente espalda, la cara soplada arriba, todo listo para saltar lejos el edificio. Ella no puede pararse su peso de obsene, esas burbujas horrorosas de salir de grasa de sus jaulas inexistentes de costilla - que era irónicamente, una vez que tan profundo y obvio aún de la distancia. Adoro huesos - huesos ah mi eternidad. la paz y adora, eunice.

I love you guys.
but oh well there again, talk is cheap.

2006-02-19T18:17:00.001+08:00

since she doesnt really read anyway - or so she says, i shall blog here. if this is paramnesia- anw.
actually why do i even bother when i have more things to do, i dont knw.
but i am ~~amused~~ DISGUSTED at those people who either have a lot a lot of confidence, or they are just purely bu zi liang li.
but heres first a disclaimer:
i think it is perfectly alright to have loads of confidence. in fact i quite like the fact that someone possesses a lot of confidence. but just dont use it in the wrong way, cause it makes you appear as naive, foolish, stupid - contrary to what you want to be thats for sure.
anyway. she thinks that she is the best at everything (which unsurprisingly she isnt.); she thinks that everyone is worse than she is (when is also definitely not true cos she aint that clever); she thinks that she possesses a knack for a lot of things - things that she cant do but think that she will be able to do better (yes the irony but anyway). its funny to hear her talk. when she goes on and on about how much she is better than others.
its really hilarious. but at the same time it disgusts.
once, twice. thats okay, i mean its only a few repetitions and i still can take it.
but the more she goes on, the more i feel like screaming right into her face and telling her that she isnt that smart afterall, that she doesnt have as much talent as she thinks she does. that she isnt at all that clever, that there are even more people who are worth the words "i'm more gifted (in that something) '' than she does. in fact, there are manymany of such people that i know of.

la cosa más divertida es que ella piensa ella es más elegante y más talentosa en música que cualquier persona es quizás ella hasnt considerado bastante del mundo de la música - esa gente que sea más talentosa lejano que ella es mae del vanessa que no hablan im, enlace que estoy hablando de la gente incluso como el renee, que ella juzga ugly..(probably piensa que ella es más bonita?) ¿el hecho de que la pegan en el tercer grado en ciertamente el doesnt dieciséis me demuestra de la música - talento que ella demanda que ella tiene aceptable, ella comenzó quizá tarde, pero dado un año? más piano un fondo le dio el headstart en notas de la lectura su divertido realmente, para que ella piense que ella es talentosa. Grado Haha del piano de Haha el sexto, era que tres o cuatro años. para ser honesto, acuerdo que mi profesor del piano - la falta oen era profesor realmente bueno que ella me enseñó del grado 4-6. de cuál, saltó/didnt el sexto grado yo desea tomar el examen, que significó que el didnt de i hace mucho la autorización entera del año, así que en el séptimo grado cambié a profesor. este individuo nombrado Sr. khoo que no corrija - escucha solamente. manejé raspar con un 127/128 (probablemente mucho por me). ¿significo, si no me considero como talento en música, yo no sé ella puede llamarse musicalmente talentosa - el sexto grado que falla para no sabe cuántas veces y eventual el pasar con un paso? ¡convengo que ella baila agradable bien, yo debo felicitar! (pienso seriamente ella puede bailar mejor que vice-capita'n) pero de todos modos, el hecho de que ella era como "mí piensa puedo ir encima de causa que sé que las cuentas" me disgustan causa ella es incluso más pesada que capitán, Haha. no knw, mi dieta he sido haywire el pasado pocos días. prometo ir debajo de 1000 la paz y el amor siguientes, eunice de la semana.

2006-02-18T20:15:00.000+08:00

i havent been blogging for a long long time.
as you can see.

anw. i love the love poem that three one did (together) heehee it is oh so depressing and cute la.
it is supposed to be a poem for our valentineee!
i've got no inspiration to write now.

not that i ever hhad. byebye. =/

2006-02-05T12:14:00.000+08:00

HAHA STAR WARS!
-grins-
yay scores on...dont knw when. I can't wait! wouldn't mind the violin parts too?
oh that day i was just randomly taking out my violin (havent given it a name. suggestions anyone?) and playing random stuff (Scores from nyse laa). realised how terrible it sounded but it was fun anyway cause i realised how small violins are! i totally dont need to stretch my fingers. (: but the never-existing vibrato my violin became even worse i think i sounded like a 7 year old newb. not that i'm not one.
oh wells anw i really think string instruments are really cool.
i like the electric cello and violin and VIOLA. (havent seen an electric double bass though i'm sure i would be droooling when i see it too.)
can joanne tan go beg dr wong to get it. hehe then we can have a viola section, how cool.

[cos if grumpy quits the se, maybe lord voldemort would just leave grumpy alone and go play his own new instrument -oh-so-cool-. dont knw but grumpy dont want to be banished fromm the se too although grumpy is an oldold cello with terrible D STRING AND A STRING.
grumpy's owner shall be kind and buy grumpy a new set of helicore strings when grumpy's owner gets that little bit richer. or maybe..grumpy will be thrown away soon cos grumpy's owner is still thinking of getting a new cello.] since when did harry potty come in, weird.

grumpy is still wondering whether the d string on grumpy is pirastro, cause grumpy sounds terrible when the d string is being playeddd, oh well. but grumpy's owner bought a pirastro - the only pirastro in mandeville and she is really tempted to change the new string onto grumpy cause if grumpy carries on singing with that d string, her owner will get dejected and GRUMPY cause grumpy aint singing well.
OH WELLS. gogo grumpy sing better.

2006-01-31T16:53:00.000+08:00

its actually tuesday, 12.07 am now.
my internet connection is down, so i'm thinking of posting this later when the connection becomes okay.

i actually miss chinese new year performance.
if i could turn time back to 26th jan 06, i would have lugged grumpy home and practised it cos i screwed up during the string performance. but i guess its because of the lack of practise that i really wish i could perform the piece again, with more familiarised notes and dynamics.
unfortunately, scientists arent that brilliant after all - they cant turn back time.

"I’ve lost my cool that Friday morning—it’s really difficult to control when you have students who decided that morning and said “not playing, didn’t bring violin”, students coming in late, broken strings…. My mood was badly affected that I couldn’t concentrate even during performance…"
well out of the three or four things that made her lose her cool i think i committed.. two?
which made me feel really quite bad. ):
so now i dont knw if i should even help out during string ensemble performances knwing that if i join dance i wouldnt be able to commit. -cause whenever string performs, dance performs. or well, vice versa.

i was screwed that morning, in every sense of that word. grumpy's D-string broke and Karyen helped me fix it while i was preparing for dance (: -which was really nice of her. i think i shld get her smth one day to thank her for being so kind to grumpy? anw. it was not exactly a blessing as soon as the music started as i knew i was totally unprepared for the performance. i screwed my notes up - they were there, but they were not. ironic as it seems, notes did come out probably about 1/8 of a tone off, sounding repulsive. basically the whole thing was prolly better off without grumpy. or rather, without me playing grumpy.
it was then that i fully understood 'without an instructor, youre not going anywhere' -trevor (or smth along those lines "youre not improving without an instructor" that type of thing). I guess its only understandable that Trevor is always right. Duh, he’s Trevor - conductor to two highschool string ensembles that marvelled the judges at the syf '05 comps that both scored a GWF. and the only reason why i landed myself in this state is because i decided to defy trevor almighty. well in retrospect i wonder if he dares to take me on as a grade 1 violin student and teach me right from the beginning.

why am i still not-shy after being bitten once. first it was the violin, then its grumpy.
i wonder whats next. tennis? dance?

cries.

so i guess perhaps till i finish dusty and get an instructor, i dont think i want to touch grumpy and make too much noise playing on her. afterall if i cant make good music, all that comes out from that silly old plank of wood is noise.period. so why bother?
i dont think i'll be involved in the next string performance (dont think dr wong wants me there to spoil her mood and make her get angry anyway) but oh well i'm just hoping that grumpy wouldnt turn all mouldy like cammie's viola.

dance?tennis?

i guess i'll prefer to leave it in the hands of the discipline mistress.
or whatever her post is designated to be. (cant remember her designation)

how foolish it is; to leave your future in others hands.
How foolish of me, to think that being upset is worse than making someone else upset.
how foolish of mankind, to have to be bitten more than once before being shy.

goodnight. how i wish it were morning.

2006-01-19T20:55:00.000+08:00

It suddenly struck me how stupid my answers were when people asked, so why are you a vegetarian?

To start off with, I am only a lacto-ovo vegetarian. I'm trying pretty hard to become ovo-vegetarian, so that the cows would have to suffer less though.
Haha.
Sitting at the concourse one morning and staring into space, i suddenly saw red and white microwave-safe container being fed into the rubbish bin. "How environmentally unfriendly this is!" -that was what I first thought. It kind of bothered me why I cared so much about the environment then. Which 15 year old really bothered about this shit.

This evening, I was clearing my table. I stuffed all the rubbish into this medium-sized plastic bag tied it up and almost threw it into the dustbin. It was then I figured that since those were mainly made up of used up batteries, papers, and candy wrappers, the plastic bag was still relatively clean. So then I decided to keep the bag as a lining for the bin, and dispose of all the rubbish.
All these were done pretty subconsciously.

Well I guess as of 19 january 2006; 13 months and 1 day after I was officially converted into a l-o-vegetarian, I figured why I did so 13months ago.
I guess such things are in-born I dont knw but I was a major wastage of resources and food since I was young. Perhaps I have wasted so much resources in those 14 years of my life that Mother Nature felt that enough is enough and I would have to care more about the environment one day and DING! I suddenly reached enlightenment on the 18 december '05. :)

Vegetables are good. If we eat less meat, animals wouldnt have to die. Duh, they still have to die cos of old age but well they wouldnt be reared and slaughtered at least. If we eat less meat, the demand of animal poultry will decrease. Less demand=less produce; and in the process, less land will be needed to rear animals. These lands can be used to grow vegetables and crops, which could definitely feed more stomachs. So many people are dying everyday from malnutrition and starving. If everyone lived on solely vegetables, there would be more land for everyone to grow crops on, to feed more mouths, to save lives.

If you think that these lives of people in developing countries are not as worthy as yours, go jump down the building and kill yourself. Cause youre a waste of Nature's resources, a waste of space on Mother Earth.

Choose the greens, drop your knives cos you dont need them to saw an animal's carcass open; you dont need to eat meat.

GOOD NIGHT, AND I HOPE FOR ONCE SOMEONE READS THIS ENTRY. <3

2006-01-19T19:53:00.000+08:00

it bothers me, really to stare at the scale and get fascinated by the ever-rising numbers.
these numbers hop like ticks, up down up up down. it never stays, nor does it go all the way down, ever.

a mirror is all it takes to drive a girl mad; it is all it takes to drive me mad.
i'm so selfish - i'm constantly wasting time, i never accomplish anything in due course. i leave my stack of incompleted homework on the table, my unwashed clothes in the laundry basket, unread novels and unreturned calls all on my to-do list, left there unticked. i would just want to burst and claw at the fat that has remained on my body, to finish it off once and for all.

its just never-ending. it will carry on and haunt me forever.
tomorrow will be better?
oh well please ignore this post; ciao.not like anyone reads anw. [:

i'm sick of this tiring and endless battle;

how i wish something, could just take me that little further;

that little quicker.

quicker to perfection.

2006-01-16T21:44:00.000+08:00

I think I really don't understand.
I should, really.

School was tiring today. Piano was a disaster. She didn't scold me, but I felt worse than ever. Missing on notes, scales that broke down as frequent as the clock ticks - I just couldn't fucking concentrate.
What's WRONG.WITH.ME.
Scales that could have been done oh-so-flawlessly turned out to be disgusting and annoying to the ears. To the eyes. To me.
Aural Tests which I could have hit every note so perfectly turned out to be a string of notes, out of tune. Talk about Perfect Pitch.

Sometimes I really hope that I could be more disciplined. Practise Practise Practise! Why doesn't that ever get into my head. Practise to achieve perfection; just like counting. zeros.

Off to play Grumpy. I hope rehearsals turns out better. -screams.

2006-01-15T00:30:00.000+08:00

fucking damn shit i wanted to exercise on sunday-today.
like i need exercise really badly and if i dont exercise today, i would srsly explode out of what i am wearing now.

why am i blogging here anw.
screw, bye.

2006-01-14T23:16:00.000+08:00

colours - are they that important.
my internet has been really screwed lately and i'm gna freak out soon.

numbers keep on popping up in my head - 198,160,72,12,390..
they dont stop; i keep on counting. my head throbbed from the last time i added another number to it.
guilt.
but all i can do is keep on counting, till the cows come home, these infinite numbers that keep on popping, that lures me into believing that nothing is as impt as to keep on counting. i am so afraid that if i dont count, i would lose it one day. in fact i'm already losing it - pretty gradually.
it scares and disgusts.

2006-01-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

çause i would rather be THE PINK SHEEP;

sushi tei today at paragon.
krisseh is such a darleeeeng. (: <3

and and. ta hui pao. wo men bu hui. <3
gah krisseh has nice legs. anw i ate so much today i dont want to think about it.

AND I CANT FUCKING FIT INTO THE CHEER UNIFORM. [: -smirks.

2006-01-08T17:37:00.000+08:00

i cant wait for the next sports day.
CHEER. <3
yay!

2006-01-01T00:44:00.000+08:00

Hello year 2006! (:
Gah I hope it would be a fun and happy year this year! (:
I did.. a personality test!

Your view on yourself:Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on educationEducation is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

2005-12-30T23:05:00.000+08:00

Its weird why I have to
a. practice piano
b. practice nus high school song.
But yet I’m playing scales and random nyse syf pieces on the cello just half an hour ago.
It really worries to see my lack of concentration. Play the school song on the cello you stupid bitch.
Okay I think the next two hours 2300-0100 will be dedicated to my old dusty piano.
Apparently I would need to place the grumpy cello out of the way to play on my dusty piano. I have a sudden urge to play a harpsichord. Beats me why.
Gah I need to lose it. I don’t want to become a psychopath/maniac at the sight of the everchanging numbers, high low, high low.HIGH. its even worse if it ends at high, freak.
Anw, Dr Wong replied me. Four is the magical number. At least till June.

"...for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people. ‘But it's no use now,' thought poor Alice, to pretend to be two people! Why, there's hardly enough of me left to make ONE respectable person!'Soon her eye fell on a little glass box that was lying under the table: she opened it, and found in it a very small cake, on which the words ‘EAT ME' were beautifully marked in currants. ‘Well, I'll eat it,' said Alice, ‘and if it makes me grow larger, I can reach the key; and if it makes me grow smaller, I can creep under the door; so either way I'll get into the garden, and I don't care which happens!'She ate a little bit, and said anxiously to herself, ‘Which way? Which way?'..."

2005-12-30T01:10:00.000+08:00

Okay. So I’m back again. You must be thinking whats this fatass doing, posting three entries in a short 24hours.
Cause you see, this girl was just about to sleep when she heard the song that her best friend (or so at least in 2004) sent her. It was the nyse syf pieces. So she listened. She was pretty shocked this time. It wasn’t her first time hearing these pieces but it was her first time listening.
She quickly rummaged through all the black clear files she possibly had. Right behind the bacarolle piece which was slotted into the file mid-2005 stayed the two pieces of music. She stuffed the bacarolle into the waste-box and started fiddling her fingers on the cello – the old stinky one.
No touch. The first time in 12 months she picked up that piece that she would have been so familiar with should she not have left. Second try. Little bits came back. On and on she played. Then she remembered that the nushigh school song was what she should be playing.
Flipped the pages.
‘nus high school song’
she pressed her fingers onto the keyboard of the cello once again.
Somehow the feeling was different. There was absolutely no excitement in the notes, no dynamics no nothing.

She hears the piece again, this time intentionally.
What a failure. She thought, weeping in self-pity.
Applauses sounded after the two pieces were played. She turned down volume of the speaker, still thinking, what, what made it so magical?

Which way.. which way?

2005-12-30T00:16:00.001+08:00

Aiight its 12:15am.
Dr Wong hasnt replied my email. Its okay cause I think I'll meet her on campus tmr.
Tmr we're meeting in school. Gah yay! Apparently jo is gna bring her jiolin! I'm gna bring cello!
Old one with jargar strings and CDG not too bad but not wonderful. Guess its enough for a newb like me!
Talking to Jo on msn now, she says my grumpy cello should be called..jello. .? er. then she says.. yoonsello.
I think I'll settle for a yooncello?
(: you knw, violoncello..eunicello?
hehe. what a sweetiepie.
okay gahh tmr I need to go town for jiang then go school! then tLL.
gah my essay sucked. Man i'm gna fail it, wish me luck.

(: i need to practise.
GAHHH I CANT FCKING EMBARRASS MYSELF. not like anyone cares anw. =X

<3

2005-12-29T17:20:00.000+08:00

Dad has agreed to get me a cello.
I just sent an email to Dr Wong about the number of times we would be performing next year. If its really little, I dont want to waste Dad's money.
Lets hope she sees it fast and reply me. I'll prolly get a cheap - mid end cello and change the strings to better ones.
I need good strings to play anw, cause I cant play that well. And lousy strings cuts. ouch.
I'm tryna do my essay for english now. But I dont knw anything about history so its tough cause I havent got any information on it.
Gahh I'll come back later, ciao!

2005-12-27T10:09:00.000+08:00

bah today was okay.
went to school in the morning and had cheer prac.
not much of a cheer prac. we were more like, slacking as usual.
anw.
after that headed down to the mall with jo for sakae! (:
yeah then went home.

thankew mira
thankew tiff
thankew jo
for the christmas presents! :)

er. speaking about christmas presents. i hate shopping for christmas presents. i'm sorry to those who received presents from me! er cause i dont really put in much effort in finding for xmas presents compared to finding for birthday presents! theyre just too many people to buy for that yours truly get exasperated.
i'm sorry.!

vote please!

2005-12-21T22:24:00.001+08:00

You Are Half Baked Ice Cream

In reality, you're just a quarter baked

What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatflavorbenandjerrysicecreamareyouquiz/">What Flavor Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Are You?

...icecream? [:

good night, folks!

2005-12-03T09:35:00.000+08:00

okay. its pretty saddening to be stuck at home on a rainy saturday morning, i must say.
and its raining yet again. means no outdoor activities. -heads for boring malls.

the past week has been pathetic. shopping sprees that turn out to be disasters, lunch(s) at harborfront, stupid chinese lessons (which zhiqing turned up for like 1/5 this week) leaving me with pathetically no one to talk to during boring classes. oh and not to mention that the teacher thinks that i'm a naughty girl just cause i was being honest and said that i couldnt count the number of times i went home after 9pm when she asked us to do a survey. apparently to her and the rest of the class, 9pm is like super late. she thinks that i bu ai hui jia, which is not true cause i love dad and mom a lot, prolly even more than the kids who have pathetic curfews and pretend to be oh-so-angelic but prolly hates their parents to the core? i think thats just oh-so-pathetic. poor kids.

yeah and we talked about branding, and i was so tempted to tell the laoshi that its no longer about brand nowadays, its about how the product looked. right? er, at least i think so. yeah so anyway, the whole class was suddenly so enthu when it came to branding and i was like, ugh give me a break. anw i just cant stand those people who buy smth for the sake of the brand, like for instance this fugly girl in class who got this pair of nikes that are fugly, i bet she got it cause it was on sale and it is nike and stuff. like whatever, your shoes are just ugly. not to mention your face too. and its funny that she worships nike cause its just a label. i mean its not so pretty afterall, i'll draw you a nicer tick.

oh yeah and lately this yvonne girl from dunman came to class. (that girl i mentioned above) like whatever laa. she even takes notes during the storytelling part, which is quite nice to hear but not nice and not smart to take notes bout, cause not as if she would like refer back to it or whatever. hai. but she's pathetic cause heard that she tried applying for our school and didnt get in. HAHA. like i cant stand you. but apparently her languages are pretty good. says zhiqing, at least.

yesterday was an okay day at learning lab. new teacher, a terrific change from ms chang, taking our class for mrs ong. uh so basically taking our class permanantly is er. cant remember her first name but i knw its mrs lim kay. the receptionist prolly hated me for that. but anyway. yeah, she's pretty nice and definitely more intellectual than the latter (chang) and i felt smarter when i sat in for class yesterday. :) yay. finally a good teacher.

I NEED TO GO OUT. oh yeah, mom says 7 days in hongkong. i have no idea what we are gna do there. its ALTERNATIVE TOURISM (or is it) -grins at mrs kan. but oh wells you ppl prolly dont knw what i mean. anw. i think i'm gna be bored stiff. but hey not too bad. retail therapy is my only consolation. :) yay can get cheap and nice clothes. not those pathetic cheapskeate fake items but those that are nice and cheap and brandless! even the giordano there has nicer clothes laa.

uhh i'm eating my third serving of fruit for the day cause i'm sneezing non stop and i need vitamins! no more blackmores 500mg at home so means i have to get it from nature.! :( maybe my sis has some, i'll ask her later.
oh anw, suzie's back. did i mention.?

okay this is a long and incoherent post. i'm terribly sorry for my horrendous stinky writing to those reading anw! it must have been a chore, lol. (or maybe you wouldnt even get to here!)
INCOHERENCE, THEY SAY.

Perhaps the only similarity or common ground between her and I is that we both cannot afford to let go, somehow. I know full well that it is granted at this point. I will be stuck here cowering at the bottom of the rabbit hole forever and a day, addicted to my little self-inflicted chaos.

i heard you falling into a rabbit hole; covering yourself up with snow

2005-11-28T22:07:00.000+08:00

poo i'm sorry for not updating!
Although no one prolly bothers to read, now that gnia's being grounded.
okay anyway. Jessica hates us! But there again.. its not entirely her fault cause. She is so innocent and cute.
So there, not her fault la. She's nice.!
We should have figured that some people couldnt take it!

Anyway, today talked to elaine online. woohoo i think its like one of our longest convos. though its still very short right! haha. we talked bout tennis and school stuff. its like a repetition of sem 1. [:
Hai so all thanks to -inserts name-'s fault, there wouldnt be trng tmr. Like wth. I havent played for ages and daddy doesnt wna get a coach for me and my fugly sisters dont even knw or dont even want to lug their sluggish bodies out of the house. so is it my fault that i dont get trng. and if i play against the wall again i will prolly get scolded for nothing.

and today i'm typing this in such a weird manner. its perhaps, a mild form of incoherence.

i went to the library today and they dont allow my ezlink to be reconnected. screw them laa. oh wells anw, its like i was so angry i stormed out of the freaking hallway into bugis junction and bought myself a book, pride and prejudice. i read the easier version one when i was younger. oh wells i was debating whether to get memoirs of the geisha or pride and prejudice anw. somehow i decided on the latter.

oh and mom wants me to pack my room. like its so messy i dont knw where to start off with. but anyhows, i think i will start tmr, or tonight. and i freaking need to get some exercise.

sigh. screwed! i need to go now, taaa people!

2005-11-23T13:32:00.000+08:00

when you look at yourself in the mirror, what is the first thing you look at? my eyes

how much cash do you have on you today? SGD 85
what word rhymes with "test?" rest
favourite plant? sunflower!
who is the fourth person on your miss call list? Altron
what is the main ringtone on your cell phone? the alarm clock one.
what shirt are you wearing? pink giordano lycra
do you label yourself? not quite, but sometimes. Bitch?
brand of shoes you're currently wearing? barefooted
bright or dark room? dark. Partaaaye!
what were you doing at midnight last night? attending the party of the year? =D
what was the last text message you received on your cell phone? from zhiqing telling me that i shouldnt go for lessons tmr, that i should go for the lesson three weeks later. or smth.
do you ever click on "pop ups" or banners? not quite unless they have nice wallpapers.
what's a saying that you say a lot? act, dont just talk.
who told you they love you last? sarah.
last furry thing you touched? darling caramelle.
how many drugs have you done in the past three days? is strepsils counted. its lozenges.
how many rolls of film do you need to get developed? none. I want the partaayes photos though.
favorite age you have been so far? Er, till now no preference really.
your worst enemy? myself.
what is your current desktop picture? some pink design thing.
what was the last thing you said to someone? i'm not going for jiang today cause there is no afternoon lesson.
if you have to choose between 1,000,000 bucks or to be able to change a major regret? 1000000 bucks, because unless the major regret is what youve done to someone, if not 1000,000 bucks is better.
do you like someone? my dog, definitely. though he is suspected of engaging in gay activities.
the last song you listened to? leaving on a jet plane by sheryl croww.
people i hope to see do this quiz? everyone who sees this quiz. JUST DO IT. =D

2005-11-15T23:51:00.000+08:00

its almost twelve and i'm terribly tired.
i just finished seasoning my fingers on the cello, its feeling pretty sore now.
i hope with some nice rosin and seasoned fingers i'd be able to play.

oh yes. thankew mengtian (doubt she'd even see this thou)

anw. results back and i've done far from SATISFYING - i cant even remember my marks now.
sigh. chem was like tlly terrible i expected muchmuch more. CARELESS MISTAKES ARE INDEED FATAL.

sighhhhhhh. how dead can i be.
oh wells. consolation: cello!

i'll try to make myself happy without kitkats.
yay.

2005-11-13T23:26:00.000+08:00

uh fuck. i cant stand this anymore and it is driving me nuts.
i dont want to start counting and counting and counting but all these shitass people are like counting all the time its making me go crazy.
how i wish i had the mentality of adia, of emilia who are totally in control of their fucking minds.
uhh fuck really.
i dont want to go to school tmr.

you knw what i want to do?
i cant tell you.

not here.
uhh shit now i'm feeling worse i think i'm gna go nuts.
nutsnutsnuts.
i'm incoherent i know.

but its driving me crazy.
i'm skipping tmr. not school. cant skip school.
i dont want to go out. i need to do a lot of things.

uncompleted unachieved.
those losers who just talk and dont act should just go and die, really.
its plain talk. who would care if usted muere un día_, no one.
if youre one of those who are only good at talking and have absolutely no action then get out of my sight, now.
and never come here again.

perhaps i wouldnt even bother to post.
its far.. too risky.

i need some ee.
uhh fuck those dickheads.

2005-11-12T23:33:00.000+08:00

TIFF WHY ARENT YOU HERE FOR PRACTISE TODAY.
WE MISSED YOU LIKE A LOT A LOT A LOT.

and because you werent here, we couldnt finalise stuff darling.
but there again, you have camp. so we cant really blame you can we!

oh well. we need to buck up!

i cant write. i can play. sigh. i'm off to my hate blog.

2005-11-11T22:49:00.001+08:00

something is wrong with blogger.
They refuse to let me change my font color. ]:

anyway.

i have decided to set my priorities this for the next week or two.

1. nowdrop.
2. piano
3. exce.
4. cello. i need to go freaking practise it. after piano.
5. er, singing. you raise me up. and school song.
6. catch up on my sleep.

yes so all is finally over. i'm quite glad that it is over anyway. i mean, now i have more time for everything. piano. i'm gna practise like 1.5 hours a day until my fingers break.
cello. i'm gna practise when karyen is not practising. i'm gna save like 1000 and get a cello.
and i'm gna start cello lessons. after i finish piano.
then i'm gng running too. no, i'm going brisk walking with dad and talk to him cause i love my dad a lot. a lot.

nowdrop. drop drop drop.
all suckers should just go kiss my ass and die of suffocation.
DICKHEADS-.

AHHH I'M INCOHERENT.
OKAY I'M GOING TO SLEEP.
shant disgust you any further.

my toes hurt btw i dont knw why.
i love my school i'm gng back tmr again.
cause.. i have no life.
no, i do. cause i have nd tmr.
yaay. tiff. you left chicken rice grp alone.
you ~~sucker~~ darling.

GOOD NIGHT LOVE.
incoherence should just go to hell. bye. i'm not thinking for hell's sake.
oh yeah, and i like jay. nice cd. his singing style change for nuts though.

GOOD NIGHT.

2005-11-08T21:23:00.000+08:00

乌云在我们心里搁下一块阴影
我聆听沉寂已久的心情
清晰透明就像美丽的风景
总在回忆里才看得清

被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔
已经被时间上锁只剩挥散不去的难过

缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
我点燃烛火温暖岁末的秋天
极光掠夺天边北风掠过想你的容颜
我把爱烧成了落叶却换不回熟悉的那张脸

缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间两行来自秋末的眼泪
让爱渗透了地面我要的只是你在我身边

被伤透的心能不能够继续爱我
我用力牵起没温度的双手
过往温柔已经被时间上锁只剩挥散不去的难过

在山腰间飘逸的红雨
随着北风凋零

我轻轻摇曳风铃
想唤醒被遗忘的爱情
雪花已铺满了地
深怕窗外枫叶已结成冰

缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
我点燃烛火温暖岁末的秋天

极光掠夺天边北风掠过想你的容颜
我把爱烧成了落叶
却换不回熟悉的那张脸

缓缓飘落的枫叶像思念
为何挽回要赶在冬天来之前
爱你穿越时间两行来自秋末的眼泪
让爱渗透了地面
我要的只是你在我身边

I don't knw this sounds stupid but I think when I first heard this song I started tearing. Especially at the er, italics part. Oh yes, Unicode people. But at least I only teared for this song. I tlly cried when I heard track 2 and 3 of the stefanie sun uhm newest album. no idea bout the title though. I koped the cds from my sister laa.

Suspire Im tan espantó. Quiero ir al vestigio ahora, a en algún lugar donde puedo correr, y para poder correr para siempre y jamás y para olvidarme acerca de todo. Necesito quemar cualquier que yo me he comido aire, en el agua, en algo. Necesito volver en la forma, yo necesito a delgado hacia abajo. Necesito bajar a 100 lbs otra vez. Pierdo ana. Yo nunca la tuve desde diciembre. Pongo demasiado rápido demasiado rápido. Pierdo mi puño. Soy espantado. Ayuda de doesnt que nadie sabe esto, eso nadie puede ayudar. Yo no me atrevo encarar el hecho que mi desorden alimenticio no es desordenado ya. Como como una persona normal ahora. 5 meriendas un día, no más no menos. Su demasiado. Necesito volver en la forma. Necesito adelgazar. Necesito ver los huesos una vez más. Ayuda. Necesito ayuda. Necesito alguien ayudarme adelgazo. Hago realmente. Necesito ir al gimnasio mañana. Después de los exámenes. Derecho. Yo no encontraré nadie, lo siento. Lo siento mucho. Necesito aislarme y planear mis métodos de ayuno, cómo yo mentiré a mis padres acerca de mis comidas y llenaré. Necesito aprender a ser infalible. Mis planes no fallarán. Yo no nazco a un perdedor. Perdón, realmente. Véale mañana.

2005-11-07T17:33:00.000+08:00

herms. sorry i'm a day late. i was supposed to post on 6 november 2005. cause its my birthday!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO ME!

aiight. so it was quite an okay birthday this year, though its like right smack in the middle of finals. but its not too bad, i'm not that stress so its okay! heehee.
i'm typing incoherently again. i'm sorry, thats what happens when i'm a little, overly high.
you see, i ate chocolate cake and slurpee(on my way home.) and the cake was my birthday cake from sweet secrets! uhm its chocolatey and fonddueish. courtesy of jianhong! (thankew. though i dont think he'd see this la.) hehe who cares.

6 november

the morning started with me dreading to get out of bed. its my birthday, and i'm fucking going to calligraphy.. to screw the teacher. uhh, which turned out ayeokay, thankfully. yes then i went home, and my sis said that someone called. with a cute - primary school like voice? so i was like confused cause i dont knw anyone who has err, cute voice.
turned out to be darling eugenia, whom i wanted to sue a while ago.
oh yeah they conferenced and sang me birthday songs! ( i love my cheerteam thats y) then we started talking bout our performance for quite a long time. it became a little noisy cause there were like more than 5 people talking at the same time. lol. but it was funny.

THANKYOU FIBO CHEERTEAM FOR THE CONFERENCE CAUSE IT MADE MY DAY! RIGHT IN THE MORNING, REALLY. (not really morning la. close to noon?)
ehe. whee i love our cheerteam la.

I WOULD LIKE TO THANK THOSE WHO WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY! (uhh, despite the finals?) lol.
- our cheerteam:-
-eugenia
-tiffany
-joanne
-aiwei
-carissa
-mira
-bryan
-altron

- elaine
- zhiqing
- nathaniel
- almeric

and of course, dad mom and etc.
and random people la. :)
thankew!

7 november
today!
school ended at 12 plus. danced in the fibo room till like don knw when la. hehe were so.. slack. and i like it!
then we headed dwn to gombak la. and we exercised our mouths by talking. hehe.
then jo wanted to eat so we went to the nearby hawker center and ate ban mian. and she says it tlly sucks.
oh yeah before that we went to 7-eleven! hehe were such big eaters yay.

anw. yeah after that i went home. oh yes. jo wanted to er, go to the toilet. so we ended up at the gombak gym one. haha it was super clean so we were like sitting there and talking. er, like those aunties in our school toilet! HEHE. omygosh darling jojo is so cute.
anyway. yes after that i went home. on the way i got some slurpee. from the nice seven eleven! not that.. disgusting old and dirty one. hehe. when i went home i ate chocolate cake! -yum. and some pastry. and now i'm cooking instant noodles.
(i'm eating so much today)
er, everyday.
hehe that shall be my.. dinunch? lol, i don knw. we'll see what happens when daddy gets back.

bye for now.
i love my fibo cheerteam alot alot alot.
(i'm sorry if you feel neglected.)

2005-11-05T07:34:00.000+08:00

I'm extremely sorry for no updates for the past few days.
I swear I didn't have anything to write. I'm sorry, my life's a bore.

REALLY.

"The Way I See It: No. 23

Chances are you are scared of fictions.
Chances are you are only fleetingly happy.
Chances are you know much less than you think you do.
Chances are you feel a little guilty.
Chances are you want people to lie to you.
Perhaps the answer lies on the side of a coffee cup.
You are lost.

— David Cross, Comedian"

Prozac Nation: Young and Depressed in America. :-

I start to get the feeling that something is really wrong. Like all the drugs
put together - the lithium, the Prozac, the desipramine, and the Desyrel that I
take to sleep at night - can no longer combat whatever it is that was wrong with
me in the first place. I feel like a defective model, like I came off the
assembly line flat-out fucked and my parents should have taken me back for
repairs before the warranty ran out. But that was so long
ago.
I
start to think there really is no cure for depression, that hapiness is an
ongoing battle, and I wonder if it isn't one I'll have to fight for as long as I
live. I wonder if it's worth
it.
I start to feel like I can't maintain the facade any longer, that I may
just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was
wrong.
Maybe something about how stupid my whole life is. I don't know.
My
dreams are polluted with paralysis. I regularly have night visions where my
legs, though attached to my body, don't move much.
I try to walk somewhere -
to the grocery store or the pharmacy, nowhere special, routine errands - and I
just can't do it. Can't climb stairs, can't walk onlevel ground. I am exhausted
in the dream and I become more exhausted in my sleep, if that's possible. I
wake up tired, amazed that I can even get out of bed. And often I can't. I
usually sleep ten hours a night, but often it's many more. I am trapped in my
body as I have never been before. I am perpetually zonked.
One night, I even
dream that I am in bed, stuck, congealed to the sheets, as if I were an insect
that was squashed onto the bottom of someone's shoe. I simply can't get out of
bed. I am having a nervous breakdown and I can't move. My mother stands at the
side of the bed and insists that I could get up if I really wanted to, and it
seems there's no way to make her understand that I literally can't move.
I dream that I am in terrible trouble, completely paralyzed, and no one
believes me.
In my waking life, I am almost this tired. People say, Maybe
it's Epstein-Barr. But I know it's the lithium, the miracle salt that has
stabalized my moods but is draining my body.
And I want out of this life on
drugs.
I am petrified in my dream and I am petrified in reality because it is
as if my dream is reality and I am having a nervous breakdown and I have nowhere
to turn. Nowhere. My mother, I sense, has just kind of given up on me, decided
that she isn't sure how she raised this, well, this thing, this rock-and-roll
girl who has violated her body with a tattoo and a nose ring, and though she
loves me very much, she no longer wants to be the one I run to. My father has
never been the one I run to. We last spokea couple of years ago. I don't even
know where he is. And then there are my friends, and they have their own lives.
While they like to talk everything though, to analyze and hypothesize, what I
really need, what I'm really looking for, is not something that I can
articulate. It's nonverbial: I need love. I need the thing that happens when
your brain shuts off and your heart turns on.
And I know it's around me
somewhere, but I just can't feel it.
What I do feel is the scariness of being
an adult, being alone in this big huge loft with so many CDs and plastic bags
and magazines and pairs of dirty socks and dirty plates on the floor that I
can't even see the floor. I'm sure that I have nowhere to run, that I can't even
walk anywhere without tripping and falling way down, and I know I want out
of this mess. I want out. No one will ever love me, I will live and die alone, I
will go nowhere fast, I will be nothing at all. Nothing will work out. The
promise that on the other side of depression lies a beautiful life, one worth
surviving suicide for, will have turned out wrong. It will all the a big
dupe.
-extracted from Prozac Nation: Young and Depressed in America

sigh i am really sorry if i am boring you. but everytime i came onto blogger, i realised that i had nothing to type bout. :\ so i just thought this was a nice extract and i decided to share!

p and l,
eunice

2005-11-02T15:03:00.000+08:00

EUGENIA ONG I'M GOING TO SUE YOU.

THIS GIRL CALLED ME AT 3.00PM IN THE AFTERNOON TODAY.
while i was back at home, sleeping and waiting to go for my piano lesson at 5pm. or rather, waiting for the call from my darling daddy to wake me up.
THEN MY PHONE RANG.
i swear my eyes were half closed, really.
I picked up that damn phone, thinking it was a dad tryna wake her loser daughter who probably forgot to wake up for piano lesson.
then i swear i was stunned for a moment - since when did my dad's voice become so.. high.
then my brain registered the words: *GENIE HP on my ID caller like.. 5 seconds ago and i wasless traumatized. But i was still traumatised kay cause she said: EUNICE YOUR PIANO LESSON IS AT 5 right.
and i was like, yeseyes. (thinking: oh god dont tell me its 6)
genie: yao bu yao qu gombak pao.
me: huh bu yao wo yao shui jiao
genie: ni zhe ge da lan chong, gen wo qi lai pao.
me: ni ganggang ba wo chao xing lei.
genie: oh okay hui qu shui jiao.

i went back to sleep. like literally. jumped up like three seconds later, petrified at how long it has been since i stepped on the track. (not including our futile efforts to be on time for gambling class of course) and of course, how that tremendous lumps of fats have accumulated around my calfs, thighs, stomach,face.. whichever part of my body. and then i decided I AM GOING TO RUN TO BURN THOSE FATS. AND SLOG MY FATASS TO THE STADIUM.
so i picked up the phone and messaged genie: where're yall.
1 minute
2minutes
got irritated. called her.
genie: sorry sorry we decided not to run alr.
me: huh okay (i'm gna sue you bitch hehe)
genie: friday?
me: got geog.
genie: after geog then.
me: orh okay lor (still stubbornly thinking genie i'm gna sue you for waking me up.)

-end of convo-

oh did i mention i screwed up papers as usual? oh whats new!

2005-10-30T14:35:00.000+08:00

I have absolutely no idea why I'm blogging here again. But anyway today during calligraphy class I was thinking about a lot of stuff, like how this entire semester went and stuff like that. Basically this semester my grades slipped by a lot, and I really mean by a lot. And its not the grades slipping part that I tlly loathe. Its the lessons basically, the people that youre around with like 90% of my fucking time in school. Screw time.

And I still fail to understand why we have to attend classes in our mentor groups. I mean, I personally just cannot do/learn/study well in the mentor group setting. I'm sorry to say that yours truly don't exactly enjoy her time with her mentor group all the time because she will just get freaking agitated with some of their stupid comments. Its not caiyue's gang I think, its just the rest of them. You knw, they are forever trying to find fault in the teachers' teaching and pointing out random stupid facts that the teacher just said wrongly and tryna be a smart alec by correcting it, when most people with an IQ of > 100 will definitely knw the mistake. I dont knw, its like.. stupid and unnecessary.

And because of that we're always slow and behind time. And plus I wouldnt want to participate in the discussions that they have cause.. the frequency's just wrong. Sure, having classes in mentor groups certainly bond the class together better, but so what? So what if the class is that little more bonded. I knw that no matter how bonded the mentor group is, our cheerteam will definitely be even more bonded. And I knw that I would much prefer to be in the same class as the rest of our cheerteam, and I'm sure Tiff, Genie, Kris etc share the same sentiments as well. I mean I'm sure I would be more vocal in that class and I will not be afraid to spout some shitass comment. I'm not sure if jo aiwei bryan will prefer that since they seem to be doing fine in their mentor group who have really q nice people. :)

The school claims that mentor groups are just for us to work with different people of different personalities so that you'd be able to work well like that in the future in our workplaces. Youre telling me that our subject groups will not give us the similar exposure? I beg to differ. I mean, their defence is.. weak. Wouldnt changing subject grroups every semester give us an even greater exposure?

I cant believe I would have to spend numerous semesters after this attending lessons after lessons with my mentor group. I cant believe my life will be of such a routine for the next.. 3 years. No change. Seeing the same people you see five out of seven days, 10 hours a day. The thought is just.. repulsive. Literally. Its just scary.

I'm looking forward to graduation. I dont think I will miss time spent in this school, other than tennis trainings, cheer practices, lunch maybe. Or perhaps I may begin to miss moron 5's lame comments one day. Perhaps. Till then, I will continue moaning about.. everything. Unless I get something done soon.

2005-10-29T22:54:00.000+08:00

She's fifteen; I'm fifteen.
There's no reason why I can't do it and she can.
I'm just not used to losing.

we are born sinners, so why do we ever even set foot out into the world to prove that we are good? it is to no avail. a vein effort. a waste of time parallel to a waste of space, the waste of space being us.
but we try still the same. humans are all about change. we drug ourselves so we may feel something new, we medicate ourselves so we may feel nothing at all. we dye our hair, we paint our nails, we wear false eyelashes and colored contact lenses. we apply colors to our skin, we apply creams and lotions and masks. we wake up every morning to put on our face: a new face everyday for some. we pierce our skin, we spill permanent ink into our veins in patterns and designs, we burn ourselves, we carve ourselves. we eat this, we eat that, we eat nothing at all. all of this to protect us from what, exactly? from ourselves. because we are afraid of ourselves. downright terrified. we are all so self-conscious, we cannot walk through the streets un-clothed, and if we do, people will not stare and say "that person is brave", they will shield their eyes and mutter in disgust, "ew!". we are confused by our own reflections, so rather than throwing a towel over our mirrors, we paint on the makeup, throw on the clothing, toss around the hair, make ourselves 'presentable', make ourselves 'decent'. it is sickeningly true, we as ourselves (without the products and accessories), we are not presentable or decent anymore. at least, we certainly do not consider ourselves so.
we swallow pills and eat delicious poison like McDonald's, and then we stare at our reflections once again, and low and behold we notice a defect. be it a small red spot or an agonizing pain in the chest, something is wrong with us. we run, hands raised, mouths hanging open, to a doctor, and we beg him to fix us. as if that doctor is super-human, somehow better than us. he is not. he too has damaged himself.
it is just so sad how we are not even slightly aware. it has gotten so bad that we cannot even step outside of our homes without protecting ourselves with creams and medications. but who has made it so dangerous to be alive? we ourselves have. we have tampered with our surroundings too much: added flavor to our water, made the cold days warm and the hot days cooler, created vehicles rather than using our feet, toxins and gases that poison our air but are necessary in the making of products to 'nourish' our skin. it is true. it is simple and it is true. it is not safe to live in this world anymore.

Notice the increase in posts with the decrease in amount of homework lately. But. I still love my the other blog more. Go search for it and have fun. :)

Thats all for now.

2005-10-28T21:55:00.000+08:00

she stood near the entrance,
all drenched and pale.

i'm sorry for not blogging. i was at the other blog you see.
cause thats where i can write more liberal stuff, a hate blog basically. so some nosey people wouldnt report it to the school admin just because i said bitch.
i dont knw la. i'm speaking incoherently.

as always.

okay anw, i skipped tll today. hurrays. i want mrs ong back. apparently some mrs lim is taking us. like whatthehell. i cant stand it cause i'm not improving. i mean, it could be the inconducive environment. anyway i'm just not improving since the week mrs ong left la. :( HELP/!

OH WHO CARES. ANW I AM EXTREMELY THANKFUL THAT I'M IN OUR CHEERTEAM.

i mean its so fun! nowdropdropdrop. heehee. yeah i think my life will just be so boring without the team yeah.
heehee, its even fun when we study together! although half the time we will be.. dancing/talking/bitching.
and we are more unstressed. uhm hanging arnd with people that are the A type makes you go crazy.? as in, the blood type la.
but oh well.

ohoh. tdy that bunch of monkeys called us fibo bitches. its really fine with me since by calling me a bitch, at least my gender is defined. their gender is.. undefined. thats called..gay. no, identity crisis. Heehee. and they walk extremely slow.

okay i think i prefer going to my other blog to type. its getting irritating after sometime tryna backspace, the names i type out with ''you'' or ''they'' and those random words that are.. neutral.

ah who cares.
anyway, i still love fibocheerteam a lot. :)

2005-10-21T23:35:00.000+08:00

hmrf. tdy i think i was alleged to have asked a certain someone to complete my homework for me - an essay actually. which i did myself because you knw i'm not such a big loser to ask people to COMPLETE MY HOMEWORK FOR ME. I DO IT MYSELF DUDE.
just because we have the same handwriting when i use thatt pen? and i'm not stupid; i knw why you wanted us to do that. well, anyone in the right mind with an IQ of > 100 will be able KNW WHY WE HAD to do so.
at least you cld have been more civil so as to tell us what it was all about.
maybe.. youre just getting too free? i dont knw.
ANYWAY. CALL MY MOM UP LA and she will decide if she wants to talk to you. MY MOM KNWS THAT I WOULDNT SO SUCH A LOSER-EE THING.!
actlly thought it wld be cool if you actlly bothered to FOLLOWUP. dont you think so! i mean, perhaps then you can come back to square one. ie. I AM INNOCENT CAUSE I HAVE MULTIPLE HANDWRITINGS WHEN I USE DIFFERENT PENS.
get that into your head right now. i'm giving you three seconds to register it in your head mdm.
3
2
1.
TIME'S UP. phew now i feel MUCH better after writing this whole lot of chunk.
lets hope she doesnt see this. oh wells if she does so what. NO NAMES LISTED. AND THIS ISNT OBVIOUS CAUSE NOT A HOOLIGAN KNWS ABOUT IT! OH yay.
and i am not the least bothered about what is the outcome nw cause i knw i AM INNOCENT AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS FOR ME BECAUSE YOU KNW I DONT CARE HOW YOU FEEL. i used to care abt what would be the outcome until i really thought of it and realised that it didnt matter at all cause after this entry i'm feeling good about this and no one shall dampen my spirits. oh yeah and random fact: my mom was apalled that you are so..free. lol. shld have seen her expression anw. HEHE. I LOVE MY MOM. :)

letsallworktowardsanaequilibrium. now thats random. uhm rather, get back.
yay aiyee i think its like 1.5 tdy. but tmr ill go!

(sometimes i wonder why i dont have the courage like jo has to name names. sigh i'm just a scardy-cat.!) actlly if i werent in this school, i wld. like duh!

nanyangnanyangnanyang! mr ellis will take us back. :)

2005-10-17T21:29:00.000+08:00

firstly, i would like to comment that i never knew blog searches were so fun. i mean, people are just so free. wonder why.
(dont they have better things to do!) hehe of course that doesnt apply to jo. :) causecause, she is innocent. or tiff. or whoever la. actually i'm okay wif anything. just prejudiced against that person whoever he or she is that is so.. obnoxious. (sp?)
oh wells anw. i killed my hate blog. so i'm here to rant. :) nah i'm just kidding. i got another blog somewhere else. search hard for it people! [:
hehe. i think such games are just so funn.

oh wells. anw. today was cool! i sat w cheerteam. (: in the morning. hehe. viv got the syz cd. hehe. listening to it nw. i seldom listen to chinese songs, so thats pretty cool.
anw. yeah tdy biology was.. boring and tedious. i mean, it was two hours of sittting there, freezing in the cold. bad. then music too. was so cold my fingers was so numb.

and it didnt help that i was feeling super hungry.
and i ate alot after that so shut up to those who skipped dinner. :)
eds not coming back. sheesh if you know what i mean and shutup.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee. i dont know, just feel great tdy. tmr will be a nice day (ihope).
800 is just a goal so i shall strive towards that.
geee.

and thankyou jo for helping me! :)
i shall make sure that my dad comes earlier than all of your parents so i wouldnt feel so gang ga.
randomm stuff la. dont knw.
i wna go grab some dietcoke nw! (:

VEGETABLES ARE GOOD FOR HEALTH ANW.
BE A VEGETARIAN! :)
(i'm tryna quit dairy products anw.) yay.
wish me luck.

2005-10-12T23:29:00.000+08:00

tdy was fabulous. :)

(hehe cause firstly i just found out that the twins - specifically vivian la cause she's in my class is rlly nice. and that i think she doesnt study alot and she still does relatively well! i mean, i truly respect such people with such high IQ. :) cause its like uber cool. i mean at least i respect them more than i respect nerd-wannabes who are simply losers. HEHE.)

basically at zheng he lao shi was being as nice as ever, and we were gossiping not about but with her. maybe not gossiping. we were talking then, correction. moral of the story: laoshi is nice and cuute.
hehe. then aftr that genie kris jo me alex headed dwn to bugis junc. so unhappening cause it was aiyee, the nearest la. so oh wells.
ALEX STUPIDLY SAID THAT HE WOULD TREAT US TO SAKAEEEEEEEEEEE. so stupid. he doesnt know!
yeah, then we were like walking then we saw joy and gang and they asked us how to get to the mrt statn! so funny. their experessions. (:
yeah then we first went to take neos! with alex la! hehe his so.. ke ai la. i thought it was rlly surprising that alex wld agree to take neos with us! i mean, its kind of weird isnt it! (x heh but anyways we had a stupid time taking neos cause the camera went up and dwn and up and dwn and half the time we were ''its up now'' ''its dwn now''-ing. butbut its still funn aaye! OH YEAH AND THANKYOU KRIS FOR READING ALL THE JAP WORDS FOR US.
yeah then aftr that we were cutting the neos and alex doesnt know how to cut (LOL) so i had to cut it for him la. he's so ke ai la after we got the neos and cut it out he immediately pasted the ''stone'' one on his ez-link! yeah. soooo that was like quite nice aaaye! :) hehe alex.
then we ran arnd (led by jo - who's geog prob failed rlly badly - no sense of dirn, literallly) looking for sakaeee. hehe found it at last, it was about 5 alr. buffet last order at 5.30!! ): so we were like yeah rushinggg.
yeap then aftr that it was like a breeze la. we ate and ate and made stupid comments, stuffed left over riceee in btwn the stacked plates, in the cups, in the ice-cream containers, in the dish where you put the wasabi in and even in the chawanmushi dishhh! hehe. it was like.. a waste of food really, but very fun!
yeah then that waiter was like asking for our dishes and we were like, nono we wna take a picture. (: in actual fact all the rubbish was behind the plates la, funny. (all thanks to alex, who really learnt fast fr jo kris genie)
yeah so we each paid 10 bucks and alex paid the rest la! see were so nice dont wna qiao zha ta.! so yeah he paid 6+ for us. :)
hehe alex. despite having cough still ate watermelon and icecream.
trust me he's gna get the symtoms of TB tmrw. :) during pe.
yeah then we ran off to fox and topshop in seiyu and tried on clothes as usual!
hehe. that boy's jeans! is nicee. i think. i dont knw whats wrong with my body shape i just cant wear jeans. but hehe. dont care la. its comfortable so BUY! :) SAVESAVE THEN WE CAN ALL BUY. ((((((((((:
anw. yeah then we made alex tryon clothes! i mean, you knw he was like walking with us but end up nvr do anyth so we treated him like we treated baby! :) and then ya made him try on alot of clothes la. i bet he was like quite langbei cause there were q alot of people there and we were like just taking lots of pics of him with the tried on clothes. :) it was definitely more croweded than armani exchange that we brought baby to! (x BUT ITS STILL FUN ANW.
hehe. then we headed dwn to the mrt statn! :) and we saw tiff and mira, and got q a bad scolding for not eating dinner with them la. cause at first we wanted to dine at cafe cartel at ps, where they were watching a movie. but in the end alex treated us to sakaee and we thought they would have eaten long time ago so we mei you gao su ta men. but we still went hme together! as in mira, tiff, genie, alex, me. :) yep.
oh yeah before jo went off she was like hugging the grp of us and saying sth like ''hao jiu bu jian'' or smth random la. but it made me laugh anw. and she kept on leaning on the poor man behind her i bet she didnt even know she did. but yah it was a funn dayy! :)

2005-10-07T23:20:00.000+08:00

TODAY IS A NICEEEEEEEEEEE DAY.

I SKIPPED TLL, TIFF SKIPPED PR. :)

wheeeeee. but i'm gna replace on thursday la, so no big diff!!

anw. (:

ben xiao jie jin tian hen gao xing.

cause i just ate yam cake! fr. chinatwn and its niceeeeeeeee food for supper.

cause my dad loves me and he bought it for me cause he is .. nice.

(my vocab sucks la, too bad)

anw. wheeeeee tday tiff and i were like playing tennis at like, 5. then it was like she accidentally hit deborah on the head la, so coincedental man. and i was like supposed to be a serve or smth.

oh yes talking about tennis. whooo tday my strokes tlly suck. dont know why. ): but either way. time to improve la. i'm like deteriorating. as in the strokes part.

sji street soccer team came for friendlies. i think mr. soh played like the second half or smth. but either way we still lost la. ):

its okay cause we have sec ones too kay, and they are all like, sec threes and some are ex-club members.

ohyeah and we saw onemarkgabriel. and i was like hehhhh. so resol, wheeeee! hehe. if you cant read that word youre a bigger one.

anw, yeah almeric came over too and played squash against nat, and i think he was thrashed or smth. cant rlly blame him cause he nvr played a decent match for like, uhm 9 months. (:

yep then aftr that we headed dwn to macs for like 45 mins? with almeric and xavier and the rest were cheerleaders, excluding kris and aiwei ):. (btw i think xavier sounds a whole lot better than pehpeh kay. i cant believe he tagged on genie's blog as pehepeh. sucks.) yeah then tiff took out the panadol for menstrual cramp one out, and i didnt know it was that fluoroscent la! heh, genie gave one to xav but he broke it anw, so not fun. we prank called weiquan. :) the camp instructor who abused his authority and made me his secretary throughout the camp and made me lug his stupid camp bag arnd all the time. until i protested! :)

we didnt say a lot of crap like we would normally do! :( maybe on 22nd november we will prank call him again and ask stupid questions, (genie can come up with a whole lot of it.) :)

yeah so we (jo, genie, xav) took a train along cityhall line and they dropped off at raffles place. and i reached jiang superrrrrrrr early la. like 730! i was like, xian zhe mei shi zuo. ):

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY I'M JUST HAPPY CAUSE ITS A SLACK DAY TODAY.

THOUGH I KNOW I HAVE 10000000000000000000001 THINGS TO COMPLETE DURING THE WEEKEND.

(BUT WHO CARES!)

2005-10-02T12:50:00.000+08:00

poof-
(swipes off the dust from this blog)
it has been donkey years since i blogged here! actlly not really, cause its only.. slightly more than a week. but still!
oh wells anw, i was at my hate blog that was founded like quite long time ago but i didnt bother to use it, till recently!
(cause we're not supposed to blog about some teacher stuff thingy, anything that is demeaning.. and the list goes on.)
so basically we're supposed to blog about happy stuff!
or neutral stuff for that matter. :)
anw, its really funny cause on friday genie and i fell asleep listening to bond in our fibo room.
when we were supposed to do random stunts. :but anyway, we cleaned our room inside outt! and now the mats are extremely clean, and so is the floor! (at least quite. apart from that stupid fruit bat/bird/animal and family who constantly expel their faeces onto the floor) which is something we cant control and the school prolly wouldnt bother either cause we're moving out in like, less than 3 months. :)
oh yeah. and that means we will have no more fibo room! ;/ the new school is SMALLLLLLLLL.

2005-09-24T09:30:00.000+08:00

All my bags are packed

I'm ready to go

I'm standing here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

whee, another week alr. :)

but my previous entry was long kay, so sorry to all for the temporary hibernation of my blog these days!

(i'm starting to get really lazy.)

oh wells. kay shall i say updates again?

21 sept

oh we had this physics excursion thing, that supposedly is compulsory for all students to attend to. i think some people did not go (me) and i thought all you need to do is to cross that box and hand it in to your mentor?! cause thats what the instructions said! i mean, my parents know that i will not be going, and so does the school [since my dad had already crossed the box and stuff]. i dont see what is the big deal about that, and i dont see why the relevant authorities should make a big fuss out of it. ]: but oh wells. they didnt say that we had to attach a letter or inform our mentors or smth! but anw if mrtoh asks then i'll say la. [i mean he prob wouldnt remember that i didnt go anw.]

yeah and apparently the whole cheerteam didnt go, cept bryan. and its like i bet they suspected that we went out together [mass outing?] to some random place, which was surprisingly UNTRUE cause we all had stuff to attend to. [:

22 sept

did nothing but handstands in school. [: its a boring day, really. pe. hehe jo is so cute kay. she ran 4 rounds while we ran 3 rounds. [pats her back] and its like so unusual of her la. haha i bet mr. sun dont really know anw.

yeah and as usual we practised our daoing skills on mr sun cause everyone was rather disgusted with the wet, bacteria infested, repulsive basketballs that we had to handle. and plus some of them were, rather airless. so there. i was in a rather bad mood i guess. or rather i was lethargic or smthg. at 5.30 sharp, the cheerleaders + zhiqing just uhm, went off.

then i did somemore handstands and uhm, went home.

23 sept

chinese was slack la. fastforwards to tennis: COACH ISNT HERE AGAIN. WELL DONE. HE LEFT US ALONE WITH -- ----, WHO DID NOT EVEN COACH ME [AS USUAL] WHILE HE COACHED THE REST OF THE TEAM AND I WAS LIKE SUPER PISSED WITH HIM. ]: I DIDNT LEARN ANYTHING EXCEPT THAT I SUCK AT TENNIS TODAY. PLUS OH YEAH, I'M ALSO QUITE SURE THAT -- --- HATES ME. [: AS MUCH AS I HATE HIM. (which in actual fact, i dont really hate him cause he's not worth my time.) yeah and i suffered a blue black on my ankle tday while attempting to serve. AM I TOO CLEVER, OR WHAT.

chong and miss lee came over too, but jason ingham didnt come. he's q good la. i thought in nanyang i caught him playin tennis with i think (mr. teo) or some random math teacher. fastforwards, tll. i sat at the front seat la. like for once. cause the room was pathetically small and i was the last to get in so i had no choice. ]:

fastforwards, jiang. i finished my jiang homework but the laoshi wasnt proud of me cause i bet she didnt even care. [:

24 sept

today. did some work in the morning, then now i'm blogging. its 10 and i'm done with my lunch alr. so means later i'd have tea! yay.

yepp so four days worth of blogging! oh btw i

a)love

b)admire

c)am jealous

of altron cause

a) he's our baby

b) cause he can do extraordinary stuff that we try so hard to do but cant do.

c) uhm he can do a nice handstand w/o a wall and i cant. (duh) he's a gymnast la. [:

plus i =heart= fibo cheerteam as wellllllllllllllllllllll! [:

hmrphs they sakaed on friday. without me cause i had to attend the learning lab.

my only consolation: at tll, i had a free ben and jerry's icecream/sorbet coupon that i could redeem; and two buy one get one free coupons too! :) LEARNING LAB IS RICH CAUSE THEY ~~STOLE OUR MONEY~~. [:

2005-09-17T11:04:00.000+08:00

aiight i'm back. realised that i have not blogged for like, a week or so. [: so its time to blog.

14 sept
left school for town at 11. school ended early cause of acm [: (which i didnt have to go for). then we hanged arnd and i intended to buy genie's present. couldnt find any. so we contd to look for hip hop stuff for our upcoming assignment. [: which was uber fun. tried on clothes. i commented that i put on weight and am fat and etc. genie says that i have zibeigan. i denied. got scolded by dkny lady.
sat at that bench, waited for jo. headed (walked) t paradigm (in my sch uniform). then played for almost two hours and then headed for dinner at kfc. went home. attempted to do some homework. ended up doing genie's photo frame thing birthdaypresent.

15 sept
went t school. half awake-ly responded to mr lim's greeting. slept till tiff came over. breakfast(milo). then waited for the cake. cake (mira) came, lighted candles. [was my first time lighting a lighter, really]. heh now i'm not scared of lighters. but i'm still scared of lighting matches. anw. then yeah gave cake to gnia. we ate then gave the rest to random people - uncle, mr soh(he happened to be there and we gave a v large piece cause that;s what was left.) hopped off to class, thinking that i had a stats test that i have not yet studied during the third period. zhiqing told me that i had stats test only the next day. (chey)! chemclass: mr sukandar thought i didnt even sit in. oh wells. [get new glasses!]
played some tennis, danced. gambling was by chris wong so we just talked and played cards. [: then pe. jo couldnt attend cause she was sick [which was real because she was coughing like crazy]. mr sun doubted her. he said either show pe attire or mc. i asked if parents letter was okay. he asked if i had a parents letter. irritated, i said that i was well and i asked only to confirm so i know what to do next time. he snapped at me and said it was none of my business. i cursed him, i dont know if he heard me. annoyed by him for the rest of the lesson, i practically ignored him when he so called complimented my passes and shrugged past him. oh wels i still dont know how to play bball anw. who cares.
waited for my darling daddy to come. then shopped for groceries then went home. -hearts daddy-

16 sept
went to school as usual. fast forwards to tennis. outfit looks grotesque on me. changed back to polo tee and skirt. guess its time to go on a diet again. there again, who cares so nevermind. fastforwards to tll. chang again, q an okay-ish lesson tdy. acty better than usual. fastforwards to jiang. okay-ish lesson too. better than usual as well. nice day la.

17 sept
today. woke up read novel till 10 plus. did mrs wee's hmwk. then now i'm blogging. hehhe. had some arguments with viv. aiyee don wna talk about it. she thinks i'm proud. oh wells, perhaps i really am. dont know, dont care. [:

aiight got to get ready for tll. hopes dad is sending me there. =hearts daddy once again=
miss suzie again. guess whenever i fight with viv i'd just miss her alot. [: oh wells. she'd be back soon.
tata for now.

they say true love is suicide:

2005-09-10T22:21:00.000+08:00

i heard your suitcase say goodbye;

well. they say that ku is staying so ingham willnot be teaching us.
and he will be teaching 305 i think and 302. and theres no ny people in 305 ><
aiyeee. so there we will be sticking with boring old not so nice and not so good teachers. generally.

eeeeeee. they should just go steal ny's maths teachers la.

and and that mr. teo go to rj and abandon all his gep-er ny students. [and in the process causing the entire school population to be deprived of good math teachers like him.!] and tchers like miss yeo just don want to come cause.. i dont know la. but either way i'd rather she not come to a little extent cause if she sees the state of my math now, i rlly don know what will happen.
butbut i'd still prefer to have her as my math teacher! (likeduh)

aiyeeeeee! okay off to do geog. bleahhhhhhhhhhs;

2005-09-07T15:31:00.000+08:00

i got a 1966 cherry-red Mustang Ford
she got a 380 horsepower overload,
you know shes's way too powerful
to be crawling on these interstate roads

oh i didnt know my previous entry will spark off so many comments from fellow sls. [: well thats just interesting to know.
anyway, help. reading genie's blog just reminded me that all the jpn trip people are coming home tmr! ohwells. means i have to start doing work tmr too! and can someone pleasee tell me what hmwk is there. i'm so dead i havent started on any cause ytd was just spent on Gleneagles hospital and then to national library (nice new building) which i borrowed two novels. the rest of the evening was spent reading the novel that i borrowed and then i went for piano. so you could very much say that it was wasted. (again)
andand thank god i didnt go to paradigm cause i will just maluate myself in front of everybody there cause i cant play?! LOL. oh wells.
heard that genie's granny's sick agn. ]: i think she was sick somewhere in march as well (or may) - cant rmb. anyways take care gnia! hope your grandma gets well soon. [:
i need to go out on thursday again (tmrw) means no homework. aiyeees. viv's birthday present! ]: (dont know what to get for her)
plus, i've got jiang later, which is a total spoiler for the day cause all went well and i have got to see that bulldog. i'm just gna anyhow do my ce yan la. its like all the chapters we havent even learnt in school, plus i dont really listen during jiang lesson cause she's uber boring (even my mom knows that) and hence i can be prepared to fail it la! [:
i would rather stay at hme and finish the box of mooncakes and die of overeating then go. ]: srsly.
gng to bring my dearie for a walk now! ciao!

2005-08-31T22:46:00.000+08:00

CAMP WAS OKAY.
in fact i thought it bonded lots of people tog. (:
either way, i strongly felt that there was just this (invisible) gap btwn the student leaders and the student population, esp in some student leaders; which i didnt feel too comfortable about. anw. thats sick. the fact that they feel as if theyre like brighter than us and we are a bunch of trash who do not listen to instructions and are like tlly inobedient when in the first place they were just being inconsiderate. so there you go - some of them didnt learn to be considerate in their all-so-wonderful student leader camp. maybe the camp i/cs shld just add that part in. (x
[no special reference to anyone in particular.just in general. of course there are still nice people like mira aiwei. :)]
anw oh yeah it was damn coincedental la. eddie(eliza) took our camp again! first it was rgps, then nanyang, then nushigh. kind of cool yeah. then he told us how to improve our mass dance, which was really nice of him >< speaking of mass dance, mr. chong joined in our mass dance so yeah. (:
most hated activity: WAR GAME (we should just burn all those envelopes away la. its like the message wasnt even pieced together. plus, i hate to say this but even after miss flo's talk i still didnt really understand what was the use of this game. perhaps it was meant to be abstract. andand. the instructions werent even given clearly.)oh wellssssss.
anw. i loved that jungle trail thing. it was like uber fun! :) it was like tlly dark and stuff and suddenly we were the only group walking. then it started raining and stuff. i mean i just thought it really looked like some survivor thing at night. hehe. :) DAMN COOL LA.
AYE I NEED TO CATCH UP ON MY SLEEEEEEEEP. AIYYEEEEEEEE. ):

2005-08-28T19:04:00.000+08:00

i miss nanyang.
sad to say, apart from chemistry lessons, biology lessons, tennis and cheerleading ((: theres nthg much i look forward to here.
not that i looked forward to english or chinese in ny.
but. at least i looked forward to math. or smth like that. tell me how am i supposed to look forward to math now. we are like doing things like co-ord geo. and thats like what taught by a total novice that a)cant control the class b)cant instill the like for the subject in me. statisticcs. pie chart?! my name is eunice, not microsoft excel. i'm not that accurate or fast so dont overestimate me. and plus, its a boring subject matter to study.
i miss miss yeo (pih tai).!
aiyee i hope mr. ingham teaches us. i'd just love him cause he's from nanyang -> =good math teacher ((:
going back to nanyang on friday! and rgps too! heeeee. and i will go for tll after that. if not i shall just go for replacement cause miss chang's boring though she's nice anw. x) oh waitttttt. i will not cause that rc tcher;s a BULLDOG. RUFFFFFFFF.
eheheh. genie (and yingzhen and jo and elaine and kris and all nanyangers cept fifi cause she's enjoying her life here) if they mistreat us here we shall go complain to mr. ellis and get out of school back to ny kay!
hehe. see we have back-up plans. (;
oh yeah. and when yingzhen and jingxuan were saying that xiang sheng on friday, it reminded me of nanyang! esp yingzhen. (:
oh wells.

i heard your suitcase say goodbye;;

2005-08-27T23:20:00.000+08:00

second entry for the day! in like less than 5hrs! anw.
yah thinking of whether to do a full report or not for ugly physics hands-on.
oh yeah and i'm listening to super outdated concert pieces Corde II from 2004. :)
its nice kay. (: -reminiscence.
yeahs. and tmr they have this cheerleading thing at yammie's hse which i am stupidly unable to attend cause i have STUDIO PRACTISE. dont see why i shld go cause i will fail anyhow. so its like not much of a diff. butbut. i cannt waste my dearie daddy's hard-earned money cause i love my daddy too much to do that. :) and i think (hope) it will turn out well.

eeeeeee. i hate missing out on the fun! ): oh wells nevermind.
(the more i think abt it the more bu4fu2 i get. but oh wells. i need to be guai.)

no wait. latest news, yammies scv not working.
but theres always darling mirra! :) so maybe change of plans? dont know la. dont think i'd be able to go anw! ): -sigh.
tmr will be my last calli class with laoshi! ): i'll miss her. :) she cant wait to get rid of meeeeee! heeeee.

Sorry wasn't good enough
A song without meter and rhyme
A long forgotten promise I recalled I made to you
A candle flame dies in the wind It looks like it's about
to rain,
about to rain

Spirals from your cigarette
Your sweet colgone on my pillow
Messages you left me still sing like some lullaby
Pretty pictures on the wall
Hopes in us will rise & fall,
rise & fall

And in the rain In summer days too
When the willow tree weeps too
Under the street light so bright
I'll remember you everyday

The plane leaves in an hour's time
Hold me till our last goodbye
Silence is the only sound
No words can speak it through
I'll breathe your breath for one last time
You'll be strong and so will I,
so will I

And in the rain In summer days too
When the willow tree weeps too
Under the street light so bright
I'll remember you
I'll remember you
I'll remember you
Everyday